in search.

2008-02-18T02:20:00.000+08:00

moved.
ask me for new link if you want. (:

2008-02-17T11:14:00.003+08:00

when you walk away
i count the steps that you take

i love that lyrics. (: it's one of my latest addictions luh. i know the song is damn old and stuff. i guess.. it takes me a bit longer than the rest to appreciate music like those. hahah. but who cares, the song rocks! (:

another addiction? 最长的电影 by jay. i just watched the MV. it's so touching. (:

i think jay is uber (x235720574535) talented. although he sucks at memorising his lyrics.. but who cares! he's just uber talented. it's like, i don't believe someone like that actually exists. he rocks please. (:

so yesterday was otc refresh.
first and foremost, congrats to gideon, claudine, kah yuen, elle and minmin on becoming the HGL of your respective empires! all the best and make the upcoming FO the best ever! :D

otc was not bad. (: my group was named: short stuff. simply because we had the two shortest main comms as our FAs. hahahah. damn cute please.

went for dinner with mark and jason after that. chatted a while. (:

met eden to go for cheewan's birthday party after that. because i wasn't sure of the way. -.- and in the end, i brought eden to the wrong place. ahhh, sorry lah!

we played blackjack! and a lot of other stupid stuff. -.- lol. had fun i guess. (: only junhui, keith and me stayed over. had breakfast with cheewan and her boyfriend just now. (:

hey cheewan. thanks for the accomodation and stuff. really appreciate it! and you're a super super good host! really one in a million please. (: thank you for inviting us over. i'm sure everyone really appreciates it. (: happy 21! (: =P

and to trish. happy birthday! (: hope you enjoy yourself today. (:

maybe i can never fully understand why you're so upset. but i guess i'll feel somewhat the same if i were you. but it's all part and parcel of life, and we know it. heh. keep smiling! (: and all the best for your napfa! (: you can do it de! :D

i don't know if you'll ever read this. but congrats on your napfa results! heard you did really well. happy for you. (: and sorry, but sometimes i just don't know what i should say to you. so, i just avoid. but i hope you understand. it's not anything, i just feel weird. hahah. yup. take care. (:

okay. now i got to go bathe then go out and study. woots! DHL, here i come! :D

2008-02-16T01:35:00.002+08:00

today is the last official day of school. i ought to be happy, but i'm not exactly happy. i miss my class. i can't believe one year is over just like that. it sucks how everything just started and has to end? i'd never imagined myself to be in a class like this, but.. i'm blessed. (:

dear 1b06, being in this class with you all has gave me a brand new experience. one that i will never forget. i hope i had left a footprint in your heart, just like how each and every one of you has left one in my heart. (: please continue to keep in contact. i will definitely miss seeing all your faces each time i enter a class. <3

i've never thought that i would be so upset to switch class.

anyway, valentine's was with my classmates! (: we had a bbq session @ pasir ris park! and then junhui, eden, hongxiang and me went to wenjie's place to stayover! nothing much exactly happened, but it was a meaningful valentine's to me. (:

thanks wenjie for your accommodation luh. (:
p.s wenjun! :D

headed to school together! went for marketing lecture. was quite .. boring. fell asleep half the time. too tired. accounts lecture, most of us decided to skip. and those who went, most came out in less than 15 minutes. hahah, hilarious please.

junhui, mengyee and me headed to lounge to rest after that. hahah. then went for OB tutorial! hahah, i think it was one of the funniest OB tutorials please. x) stayed around with the class for a while more before going to find maybelle and then leaving school to meet shaun.

p.s i love you! i think the movie was not bad? but towards the end, i was really.. damn tired. my eyes could barely open, seriously. fell asleep for some parts. but i think most importantly, thanks shaun. (: you've been a great company, like always. (:

movie ended at 11plus. believe it or not, i took a bus home. -.- i can't believe myself. taking a bus home when i'm so tired already. x_x but i'm damn broke le please. must control expenditure!

now, shoutouts to people. not specifying who, so i hope it goes out to the right person. (:

everything will turn out fine in the end. (: sorry i sounded so distracted, super bad of me. but i hope you understood why. but like you know, i'm always here to listen. (: i'm glad i'm of such importance in your life. know that, in my life, you are just as important. i'm glad we share something so real. it's what i call, true friendships. (:

i can't believe you didn't respond to everything i said. till now, i still can't believe you did it. but i don't think whether or not i believe matters now. cause the point is, you really don't care anymore. it's sad, but i guess it's good. we both need to move on. and if that's the way you've chosen to move on, then i hope it's the best for you. maybe cause, sometimes, i just don't understand why things had to turn out like this. whatever it is, be happy alrights? (:

i was shocked, i must say. maybe what you said about complications is right, but i started thinking about it. i just need some time to sort everything out. i hope you get my point? i just thought i should let you know how i felt after hearing it. (:

i might switch to livejournal soon. like, a public+friendsonly livejournal. i don't really like the feeling of not knowing who reads my blog sometimes.

and lastly, junhui is the LOVE! (: thanks for bringing the charger for me today. saved my life! (((:

have a great weekend guys! (:

2008-02-13T21:18:00.003+08:00

good news! i found my book! -beams. :D thanks junhui and keith. (: and sorry shaun. :( and thanks eden. (: you all know why luh. (:

i got back a lot of my results today. happy.. and disappointed.

i got back my socio paper. and, i was really happy. cause i expected some borderline pass or something. i got 34/40; A. ((:

accounts was totally crap. first time i hit a C for any papers. quite disappointed with myself, but i guess i deserved it. overall coursework is.. B. i guess i'll just have to work harder for my final paper. make sure i get my A or at least a B+. a B would just screw my gpa. :(

marketing coursework is B. i just have to make sure i don't drop, or try pulling it up to B+. though i guess that's close to impossible. x_x

okay! *pulls up sock* jiayou lyn! (:

hmm. had a slacking session with eden and hongxiang @ macs. headed for an hour of lan after that!

went to meet mark. shopped and ate. woots! spent loads of money again. i'm damnnn broke please. i've been spending at least $50 everyday since monday. -.-

i didn't manage to get for everyone. sorry. :(

okay. i got a lot a lot of stuff to do, since vday is tomorrow. bleh.
but but but! happy valentine's day people! let love fill your whole day! (: love is in the air; it's everywhere! :D

even if you're sad, smile. because it's valentine's day. it's a day of love! let everyone feel the love you have to share! (:

<333

2008-02-12T22:51:00.000+08:00

words cannots express the amount of appreciation i have towards you two; keith and eden. thanks for being the sweetest souls around. (: it made me smile, really did.

i'm really at a loss for what to say now. except that .. i'm really blessed to have people like them as my friends.

dear grace, thank you for understanding the pain i felt. thanks for not pursuing the matter like how you always would. i didn't mean to do it, but i really felt horrible. but, really. the understanding you gave me today.. <3

it hurts a lot more, because it came from you.
i missed you.

2008-02-12T13:36:00.000+08:00

and the world i gave so much to build
all fell apart in just one night.

2008-02-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

my blog it may seem. but there are just some stuff that i can never say here. cause there are people, who just never understands. the worst thing is, they start spreading the wrong stuff around.

today started off good! i wasn't late for tutorial! :D happy please! then, we got back our coursework grade. and, i got an A! double happiness! :DD thennnnnn. teacher let us off in less than an hour! triple happiness please! :DDD

after that, a couple of us decided to go macdonalds to enjoy the breakfast meals! headed off to junhui's place after that. hahah. played blackjack. and i won hongxiang a couple of dollars. hahah, he was losing at first luh! but in the end, won back. damn lucky. =P that guy's won 200plus in blackjack before! crazy please! hahahah.

i headed back to school for some second 'interview' and dnd booth duty. then had lecture at 2pm. ob revision lecture. used my laptop to type down everything. hahah. that lecturer was like scanning through slides. so fast. -.-

after thatttt! a couple of us went to mensa to eat! then then. eden and i stayed back to look at keith make some card for some of his friends. wahhhhh, damn nice please! i never thought that keith was that creative please! then i volunteer to be his girlfriend just to get him to make one for me! HAHAH! x)

went to lounge. was discussing some stuff with a group of them. (:

headed for parkway with amanda, ashely, claudine, sean, shaz, keng chuan and hong ling after that! :D went to pastamania to eat! didn't eat much, felt kind of full. after that, we went to shop around!

hahah! sean said my hair is very nice! and he said it in a way which sounded like he really meant it, and therefore, i am damnnnn happy! :DD he's like the first person to say that my hair is nice! hahahah. more common verbs used to describe my hair was like, messy, untidy, look like just wake up, etc. hahahah. so sean, for that, you rock like nobody's business please! :DD

i lost the storybook i bought. x_x i hope it's in bsc room. otherwise, it's gone for good. :(

and now, thanking the people i need to thank. (:

genevieve. damn sweet. thanks for offering me your listening ear. (: and, i was really really shocked when you knew what that meant! it seriously seriously shocked me. but, at the same time, it made me smile to myself. so.. thanks so much. (: and, i certainly hope things get better for you. know that i'm always here also. (:

eden. hey, thanks for being there and stuff. you've been a great friend, and a really good listener. i'm glad we became closer luh! it's been such a blessing. (: thanks so much also, for being opening up yourself to share things with me. i appreciate. (:

grace. like always, you were there. and, that was what i really needed. thanks love. it's been a fantastic.. 5 years? knowing you, despite all the ups and downs. and knowing you will easily be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. thanks for always staying by me. (: lovess.

mark. there is nothing i can say to express the gratitude i have towards you. thanks for taking the effort to come all the way down just to hear me rant, when you're already so tired. you don't know how much that meant to me. i was feeling really horrible tonight, and i think, if it wasn't for you, it might have been really tough for me. thank you for being willing to befriend someone like me, and even make this friendship so special. i will treasure this friendship for as long as i live. you've been more than a friend; you've been a great brother. (: thanks for all the advices and your opinions; it really helped me a lot, though it doesn't seem like it. if i had to thank you for every single thing you've done, the list would never end. so i'll just stop here, and pray to God that our friendship would never end. (: best friend please! :D

okay. that was really long. but with this, i'll end off my entry with something i saw, and made up my own.

SMILE;

for a smile increases your face value.

HAHAHAH!
but remember, why i am able to smile now is because of every single one of you that made a difference in my life. <3

2008-02-10T16:19:00.000+08:00

this entry is specially dedicated to meimei. (:

thank you for bringing my present all the way down to my place!
thanks for giving it to me even though it's long over!
thanks for even getting me a present!

hahah. it's damn cute please. thankssss! :DD

2008-02-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a funnnnnnnnnnnnnn day! :D i don't remember laughing so much in a day for a long long time! hahah, thanks to all who made my day so wonderful! =DDD

so it all began with junji and kevin! hahah. sorry jj for being late! but but! thanks for the chocolates please! it rocks lahhh! :D

headed off to queensway! first, went to ikea to eat their meatballs! hahah. okay only lah. =P slacked, chatted. went to anchorpoint! i like the shops there please! quite nice! :D bought a jacket, vday's gifts and a book!
then went to queenstown! bought my fbt shorts! :DD

that jj! omg, so fickled. made us walk here and there in search of a new pair of shoes! walaooo! hahahah. but it's okay! i still love you! x)

then then! we headed to town! settle to eat at hongkong cafe! thanks all for compromising to whiny me! :D

then then. i went to meet the SU peeps! claudine, ashely, sean, emilla, matthew, angela, ivan and eugene. they rented a room at the level 9 of cine to watch a movie! first was, the messengers then the unseeables. lol. in the end, emilla and me were so scared to go home. and i really was damnnnn scared please! butbut! thanks to sean luh. i grabbed him throughout the show. :D ALTHOUGH he was damn mean. -.- keep pulling my hands away so i wouldn't cover my face. WALAO! scared right! hahahah. but still! he was great company! :D

but! the hero of the day award goes to MARK! like, omg totally. he saved my day. he said don't feel like going home yet. ask whether wanna stay out to chat. HAHAH. so in the end, we cabbed home together with em. then both of us went to mac. chat chat. then went to playground, chat chat. then i fell asleep. lol! but he was damn nice. for one hour plus, never wake me up. -.- super patient please! then he sent me home. sleptttt! :DD

decided to stay at home today. too tired, and feeling kinda sick. :(

but yay! tomorrow is monday! :D i kind of miss my classmates. (: one more week of school, one week of study break, one week of examinations then it's HOLIDAYS!

jiayous everyone! :DD

2008-02-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

home sweet home! ((: finally back at my own home; it always feels so good to be home after a long day, let alone two.

before i forget.. grace, thanks for bringing the shirt today. sorry for allll the trouble. :( but thanks yeah? (: *hugs.

first day of chinese new year was horrible. it was so boring that i felt like a prisoner at certain point in time, especially because of the place that i was sitting at. -.-

second day is so much better! :D ended off the day with a pub session with my uncles, aunties and cousins! how cool is that! :D my cousins kept asking me to drink though! is drinking really that nice?

ehhhh. my mind's drifting off already. probably too tired. shall go to bed, but before that..

you'll never get to read this, cause i don't even remember how you look like and you probably don't even know my existance. but you know what? screw you for treating her like that. screw you. she deserves none of this treatment, and i cannot convince myself of any reasons that you might have to treat her this way. nothing you say will ever, ever justify what you did. i only hope now you're at least a little remorseful, but even so, i don't think anything you do would ever make her feel better. you've hurt her so much.

it's when i hear stuff like that, i can't help but call guys jerks.

that aside. have a great weekend people! (:

if only someone could show me
what true love really is.
what happened to happily ever after?

2008-02-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

i think i'm going over to dad's for one day, or maybe two, to stayover. and that means i might be deprived of the internet. :( wah, sucks. :(( so, if you love me, please message me to keep me company. it's really boring. hahahah.

anyway anyway, here's wishing you an early

happy chinese new year! :DD

collect many many angbaos please! :D

meanwhile, miss me. ^^

2008-02-05T23:48:00.000+08:00

ciufennnnnnnnnnnnnnn! i don't think you'll ever read this, though i hope you will. but you've been such a lifesaver! (: i think without you, i really fail my semester le. thanks for all the thoughtfulness! (: especially like today, when i was copying my ob notes, you offered to copy down the macro notes for me. though i rejected.. but it was such a sweet act please! and i totally appreciate it! :D loves!

nothing much happened in school today. hahah.

met shaun @ somerset mrt. bought tickets to the kiterunner. and bought a whole load of other junks in! hahah, no luh. just chicken and corn! :D

kiterunner is .. touching. i cried luh. so must thank shaun for being there. hahah. was really quite embarrassing. -.- i mean, crying when i'm watching a show with someone i barely know. rahh! thank god he never laugh at me. :( hahah. but throughout the movie, i kept fidgeting luh. can't help it. this caucasian in front of me is like big. then he was blocking my view. x_x couldn't read the subtitles. :(
nevertheless, the movie was good! (: nice storyline. go watch okay! (:

late dinner at pastamania. hahah. we share one plate of it, cause both of us weren't hungry. went home after that. (:

heh. thanks shaun for your company! really enjoyed your company luh. (: poogle! :D

hmm, no plans for tomorrow. 11-1pm got tutorial. :(

and you know eden, it's damn hard to try to include your name in every entry. LOL! not gonna try anymore. but.. at least this entry has! :D

take caresss! i miss a lot of you. :(

2008-02-05T00:07:00.000+08:00

feels like daysss since i last typed an entry. but it's only been two days. time is flying or something. hmm, i guess my days have been quite .. fruitful?

yesterday was dad&us day. brothers and i went over to dad's place! after which, we headed for brunch, followed by shopping! first was paragon! didn't get much there. just a top from AX. after which, we went to suntec! got royce and donuts! :D

had reunion dinner with dad's side at night, at some ulu restaurant near people's park or something. hahah. was okay i suppose. i spent my time eating and reading my book. seemed a little more anti-social than usual, but .. i don't know, just felt like i wanted to read and do my own things.

today! went to school for macroeconomics tutorial. wasn't much. after that, decided to go orchard with my classmates cause i needed to shop as well! a few of us went to orchard first, while the others went to novena to do their hair. thanks wenjie, junhui and mengyee for being so patient luh. i think i was like damn fickled and stuff. :( sorryyy.

bought a top @ far east. under the influence of my classmates. hahah. i think it looked weird luh! but they said it was very-me. so, i just got it. -.- met up with the rest of the people as well! then then, we headed to plaza singapura! :D where i got my belttttt! omg! :D damn niceeee! :D from espirit! love it please! :DD the design's damn niceee. x)

oh oh. and i spent quite some cash @ spotlight to get stuff to give people on vday. hope they'd like it! (:

the sad thing today is that i didn't manage to get any bottoms. :( saw one, but they only had like this big big size left. :(

we went to katong to sing after that though! :D they were simply great company! and and. i'm sorry i slept! but. i was really tired, with a headache. so.. it's not that you guys were singing lousy or whatever okay! love you guys please! :D

had dinner and then headed back home on a cab with kiat. this guy from mjc. yupyup. and that spelled the end of my day. (:

i think 1b06's really a great class. and if i could, i'd want to stay with this class for the rest of my poly life! but.. that's not possible, seeing that we have all chose different paths. :( but but but! pleaseeeee! let's still meet out okay! maybe i don't behave like i really really enjoy being with you guys, but i really do luh! really really REALLY! (: i'll keep my thankyou`s at the end of the academic year. (: loves!

and so, tomorrow's .. meeting mark at ten. go school for lecture at 11. maybe another lecture at 2. then go lounge for d&d booth briefing. meeting shaun at night for dinner+movie. and that'd spell the end of another day.

Daddy, give me energy for tomorrow. (: thankyou. (:

andddddddddddd. i miss your company luh! and so many others. :( school and everything else has been keeping us so packed that we don't have time for each other. :( holidays soon please! i wanna meet up with you all!

my memory's kind of failing me. i keep forgetting details these days.
so i've been trying to sleep early these days! like 12plus, 1plus. which is good! :D

okay, eden's waiting for me to finish blogging, so i shall stop. HAHAH! actually just including his name so he'll read the full entry. =P lol!

next up, just some random photos! (:

HAHAH! wenjie's geek photo! cute right? this is not even geek yet, i should upload the rest. well, for more information, refer to "http://junhui-imme.blogspot.com". x)

and here's the only picture i took today. a bit unclear. but better than nothing. thanks hui! (:

have a great week ahead guys! :D it's a short short week. (: loves. (:

oh oh! how can i forget! thanks keith for lending me your hoodie! :D if not i'd have freezed to death. :( so, thanks loads! :D

2008-02-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

woots! mummie gave me 300bucks last night! i'm feeling rich again! :DD

socio test was a lot easier than expected. i don't expect to fail, but my goal of at least a B may be difficult .. :(

tampinesmall-ed with grace after test! thanks girl for your company! hahah, it's funny how we still thank each other for their company after so many years. ohwells. :D sff! ^^

hady mirza's concert! hahah, i like him live. he's got a really nice voice luh. and he was damn sweet to the girl on wheelchair! -impressed. ((:

going out with dad tomorrow. shopping! :DD YAY! going out with daddie rocks! x))

thanks shaz for passing me back my mp4 today. (: if not i would have lost it! :( soooo.. thank you loadsss! :DD

lazy to blog le. =P take cares! :D

2008-02-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

i shouldn't be blogging at this time, when i have sociology test in about 12 hours and i haven't started studying for it at all. with me missing lectures and everything also. but i just have to type this out. if not, i feel that i very dui bu qi myself. don't ask me why, beats me as well.

okay, before i start on anything. i'm supposed to put eden's name in each of my entry, so that he'll think it's relevant enough for him to read. so here you go: eden. lol! x)

i'm supposed to put up wenjie's geek photo today. but i really doubt i have the ______ to do that. so after maybe over the weekends yeah? but he was so funny today! really daring to wear those to school. hahah. damn cute. my classmates rock! they make me laugh and smile so much when i'm so tired already. heh, rocksssss! :D

and today was ob presentation. i think our class rocks! our 2nd mode of presentations all so nice. :D so cute pleaseee! my group sang! hahah, more like i sang. -.- was awful please. having to sing with a sore throat. :( but wells, i did my best. i guess.

to hui: please take good care of yourself. see a specialist please! *hugs. as for him, please don't think so much. you know there's nothing. you know it. (: cheer ups.

and i'm.. damn pissed with myself. -.- for being so forgetful and everything! i only remembered at about 4plus that i have a socio test tomorrow. -.- went home early wanting to study, i fell asleep. nevermind. woke up, bathed. told myself, okay, go study. in the end, cannot find my socio notes. -.- .. was at lounge. i remember putting it into my bag, so i have no idea how it landed at lounge instead! =@=@=@
thanks adrian for bringing it to the interchange for it. (:

ahhhh. i only have myself to blame. i cannot go on like this. someone help. :( i want my dhl. sighs.

lynette. you must stop getting distracted. and focus on your studies. for the first time in your life, please study!

okay. the rest of the details will go private. thank you for reading this rubbish post. that's why i love you so much. (:

enjoy your weekends!

2008-02-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

nat, ken chew, shaun, arthur, fern and lionel.
thank you for making my day today. (:

too tired to blog about what happened.
tomorrow. (:

2008-01-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

i woke up late for lectures today! again and againn. ahhhh. i swear i'm gonna sleep early. :( but i can'tttttttt today! need to wait for my group mates to send me presentation slides that are due tomorrow! :(22

butttt. today was okay i guess. (: thanks to kevin for accompanying me the whole day. (: and thanks to jack for meeting me at night and stuff. (: you two rock pleaseeee! ^^

i bought a new book to read! felt like reading books these days. keeps my mind off unnecessary things as well. so it's good!

AND AND! hahahh! i feel a sense of achievement please! i finally know the route from my house to block 85! omg, so near only! hahahah!

oh yes! cutest message on my birthday award goes to jonathan! hahahh.
"HI LYN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYN! HOPE UR BDAE WISHES COME TRUE LYN! OK THAT'S ALL LYN! BYE LYN! TAKE CARE LYN! *animation of this dude jumping in joy*"
hahahahahhahahahah! super duper cute please! i burst out laughing when i read it! hahahahah. (:

okay luh. i don't know what else to say le. lazy to post photos, so another time. heh. tomorrow's not a busy day, but packed with three tutorials. -.- minor stuff to do here and there. hope i remember them!

today felt so weird cause i never go lounge. hahah. see you tomorrow, lounge! x)
and thursday's kbox with nat and her friend! woohoo! :DD

2008-01-29T02:00:00.000+08:00

and my 19th birthday passed just like that! i'm starting to feel really really old. ): like my classmate said, 365 more days before i hit the 2x! ahhh, i need to start behaving like an adult! boo!

but today was special. (:

thanks to junwei, jason, edwin, philip, benchow, giddy, amanda, mickey, kah yuen, weiliang, mervin, meng yee, samuel, junhui, hannah, meimei, kevin, glenn, ciufen!, emilla, magdelene, aida, claudine, jonathan, gabriel, ken, mong ling, jashawn, eden, wenjie, raqin, shameen, sean, keith, eric, zain, john, matthew, farah, sean, amanda, matthew, brainer, yuting, edwin, rayna, shaz, zech, fong yung, lynette, dolyce, andy, grace, ivan, gibson, ashely, chrystal, shep, tat yi, eric, natalie, adrian, lance, wee jie, adelene, ju huan, geraldine, sharon, fanny, ann, lionel, beautrice, carmen, ming sheng, desiree, gerlaine, evelyn and others that i might have missed out! :D

here's some special thanks ^^:

maybelle and caleb! hahah. for being the first persons to call me up! :D you two have been such a support in my life! (: your call made me smiled the most! ^^ loves like mad please! especially maybelle! HAHAH! ^^ :D

tom for calling up just to wish me! hahah. and accompanying me to chat about random stuff. =P

hakim! ^^ was surprised that you called and wish me, but thanks okayyyy! :DD

jack! hahah. i dao-ed your calls like 3 times! sorry ehhhh. but seriously, thank you for calling me up though you're busy and tired. appreciate it! (:

grace for just being there for me throughout the day! you are the love already please! ^^

hiro for that really cute email. ((:

mark for like wishing me EVERYWHERE! friendster, blog, sms and even in person! heh, you rock please! :D

dad for the lovelyy present! and even sending me a message to wish me. ((:

mummie for sms-ing me, even though we were just a door away! hahah. =P

BUT HEYY! please know that every, and i mean every, single one of you added an extra bit of sunshine to me! and you guys have made a day, which might have been otherwise normal, special. (:

i appreciate every wish and gift that came from you all! it meant a lot a lot to me! and i was really surprised as well! i had a lot of messages from people i never expected! thanks luhh! you guys really made me smile like :DDDDD! ^^

love you guys like mad please! thanks for everythingg. (:

<3lyn.

2008-01-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

for some weird reason, i started flooding myself with youtube videos. i tell you, i think youtube is one of the best website created by anyone. it rocks pleaseee! (:

i started from disney videos, and then all the way to america idol. hahah, so no link right. but wells, i really like those powerful singers. when i hear them sing with all their might, in all those passion, i just feel so moved. i've always wanted to be like them. but sadly, hahah.

oh, hey deb
uh huh
thank you for being woman enough to come
whitney, what's this about?

i know he's leaving me for you
who said that, who told you
that it's true
what is he telling you
could it be the same things that he told me

he told me that he love me
i heard that
he told me i was beautiful
how did you know
how did you know
cause i played that scene before

this is a retake of my life
i was his star for many nights
now the roles have changed
and you're the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now, cause it won't last
same script, different cast

what you're saying could be true
but how can i take advice from you
i'm not hating
but i wish the one before me would have warned me too babe

don't say no more
uncover your ears girl
i'm not listening
but i know you hear me
maybe my reasons are wrong
but i know that you believe me

this is a retake of my life
i was his star for many nights
now the roles have changed
and you're the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now, cause it won't last
same script, different cast

it's your fault you didn't love him enough
that's the problem, i loved him too much
and when you love him
he becomes unattracted to you

oh no, he's changed
and i'll prove you wrong (no you won't)
so go away, leave us the hell alone
he loves me (he'll hurt you)
he'll stay with me (he'll leave you)
for sure, for sure

this is a retake of my life
i was his star for many nights
now the roles have changed
and i'm the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now, because it won't last
no, same script, different cast

this is a retake of my life
you were his star for many nights
but now the roles have changed
i'm the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now, cause this will last
i'm his future
you're his past

this is a retake of my life
i was his star for many nights
now the roles have changed
and you're the leading lady in his life
lights, camera now you're on
just remember you've been warned
enjoy it now, it won't last
same script, different cast

this used to be a song that i listen to day in and out, when i first heard it. i don't know how many of you actually heard it before, cause it's not really .. popular. i think it's a really sad song. and they say, love is blind. it's so true in this case.

hahah. i just spent 3 hours don't know doing what when i'm supposed to be doing work. -.- okay, back to work! hahah!

(:

2008-01-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

i wanted to blog last night! but i got too tired and fell asleep halfway through blogging. ): hahah, but yesterday was a fruitful day. (:

so.. yesterday started off with project eco. hmm, i was paired up with ying chee! easy to get along with luh. (: generally, i think the people in my group are nice! a group of chemical engineering people. cute luh. hahah. and morning was spent so fruitfully. (: it's a nice feeling luh, though it was a bit tiring. hahah.

john and adrian waited for me to end! super nice of them. ((:

after that, i headed down to caleb's shooting place. it was supposed to be at boon keng.. so i was on my way there, then aaron told me changed to old changi hospital there. hahah. thanks boy! (: went there.. nothing much luh.

after that! went down to meet dad and brothers for dinner! damn sorry i made them wait one hour plus for me. ): they were like starving.. >.< style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);">daddie was nice luh. bought me a cute mini cake! and a pendant from swarovski. it's superrrr cute please! but there is no clear picture of it, so i'm not posting it up. but it's really damnn cute! ((:! dinner was @ coca, this steamboat place. not bad luh. but i guess all of us were hungry. =P i still prefer the claypot rice place @ geylang. damn nice. x)

after that, we tried to shop around luh. but it was late then all the shops were closing already. ): i was damn sad please! AX closed at 9pm! what is wrong with themmmm! walao, i want my belt. ): but but but! i bought a top from CKJ. hahah, not the normal kind i'll wear, but it's quite nice. then auntie said that i should wear something different this year. so, ohwells. BUT.IT'S.DAMN.REVEALING.PLEASE. mummie ask me wear tube. -.- still revealing what. rahh! but the colour is damn nice. :D although i think it's damn ex. all because of branding! like $190 for a piece of don't-know-what. not i pay anyway. =x ^^

so that came to the end of my shopping. ): dad was nice enough to fetch me to amanda's place! (((: sooo happy, don't have to travel. x) hmm, didn't do much. but i hope amanda enjoyed herself. and today's her official birthday, so.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA!
you've been a friend to me, and i really appreciate and treasure it. (:
and you're finally legal! hahah.
i hope year 2008 will be a great one for you. ((:
*hugs*

and glenn sent me home after that. thankssss! (((:

this morning, mummie told me to check out the laptops myself. hahah. she say i find le, tell her the price then she give me money. WOOHOO! :DD macbook, here i come! x)

and tonight.. meeting up some people. heh, thanks for bothering luh. it's really damn nice. i mean, go there meet for a while you all also come. i really damn appreciate it. (:

oh yah. and daddie keep saying my hair damn awful. -.- ask me go cut again. siaoo! shan't care. =x and the cake.. i didn't finish eating it. hahahah. got some blueberry or whatever inside. don't like. feel so bad. >.<

very soon, it's monday again and the week starts all over again. ):
take care peopleeee.

<3

2008-01-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

today's accounting paper totally suckk. guess how we started off?
"okay. you can now read through the paper but don't write anything."
*flips over to the first page*
blank.
*flips again*
blank.
*raises up hand*
teacher takes the paper to check. teacher ask the whole class, "who doesn't have page 2 and 4?"
*whole LT of people raise hands*

-.- first time in history please. and not only that, the questions were just .. tough. i have ever seen so many negative values at one go in my life before. it was just damnn scary. i kept thinking i did it wrongly, and etc. ahhhh, i'm gonna fail it!

semester examinations are just round the corner. i should start mugging if i want my DHL. jiayouu! (:

besides that, today was just another normal day with me feeling really tired. i almost overslept in the morning. i think i seemed pretty down today. but i'm okay luh! hahah. maybelle says she's 100-men strong. but i'm even stronger than that! x) heh, everything will be okay soon. i will get enough sleep soon. :D

oh yah. grandma and uncle gave me red packets today for my birthday. heh, damn nice! i'm gonna try to save it up! although i think it's gonna be really tough. lol.

and tomorrow's a packed day. project eco, caleb's shoot and amanda's party. heh. enjoy your weekends people!

loves!

2008-01-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

statistics was okay today i guess. let's hope i do well. (:
did project after that. i was writing a letter though.

went to tm with mark after that. met claudine for dinner. met grace to walk around for a while. bought a new pair of shoes! :D red converseeee. nice please! (:

jordon rocks! you must see his spray-paintings! damnnnn nice! :D will try to post up a picture of it one day. he's really damn good, in my eyes. damn talented please!

a friend was just telling me. being in a relationship is more than just .. whether i like you, whether whatever whatever. but it's more of, making a choice to take up the responsibility. i agree to it. don't you think so?

tomorrow's accountings paper @ 7pm. wish me luck. (:

2008-01-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

do you ever feel like breaking down?
do you ever feel out-of-place?
like somehow you just don't belong
and no one understands you.

do you ever wanna run away?
do you lock yourself in your room?
with the radio on turned up so loud
and no one hears you screaming

well you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
you don't know what it's like
to be like me

to be hurt, to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
with no one there to save you
well, you don't know what it's like
welcome to my life

do you wanna be somebody else?
are you sick of feeling so left out?
are you desperate to find something more
before your life is over?

are you stuck inside a world you hate?
are you sick of everyone around?
with their big fake smiles and stupid lies
while deep inside you're bleeding

well, you don't know what it's like
when nothing feels alright
you don't know what it's like
to be like me

to be hurt, to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
with no one there to save you
well, you don't know what it's like
welcome to my life

no one ever lied straight to your face
and no one ever stabbed you in the back
you might think i'm happy
but i'm not gonna be okay
everybody always get you what you wanted
you never had to work, it was always there
you don't know what it's like, what it's like

to be hurt, to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
with no one there to save you
well, you don't know what it's like

to be hurt, to feel lost
to be left out in the dark
to be kicked when you're down
to feel like you've been pushed around
to be on the edge of breaking down
with no one there to save you
well, you don't know what it's like
welcome to my life
welcome to my life
welcome to my life

2008-01-23T00:52:00.000+08:00

today was just a blur and tired day for me. :(

my grandmother tried waking me up 47952342 times. i think she got so fed up. :( but i can't help it! i was sooo tired, plus she woke me up minutes before the actual time i had to wake up. x_x

then when i was on the bus, this girl's hand was on the back of my seat. the place where you can put your hand? yeah. i slept on her hand. -.- damn awkward.

then when i was walking to school, this girl behind me banged into me when i moved sideways. -.- i think she was quite pissed. :(

and just outside business school, i was saying hi to someone when someone walked across me and i stepped on her. -.-

ahhhhh. and lecture was really boring! i don't like statistics lectures; forever take 2 hours, super long and draggy. x_x

was with my class after that. (: they're nice to be around luhhhh. ohhhh! and i met izak! :D at longgg last. chatted with him. heh. ^^

and then graceeeeeeee! she came to lounge to find me. and accompanied me for soooo long! loves please! :D thanks luhhh. super appreciate it. ^^

dinner was with maybelle, liyi and caleb. (:
oh oh oh! thanks caleb for letting us use your lappy. (:

slept in lounge after that.
supper as usual.

oh. and today was super stupid day for me as well. go inside toilet cubicle, close door also can 'kiap' own hand. -.-
and i'm not exactly feeling very well these days.

take care everyone. (:

and so i start wondering,
how much does promises mean to one?

2008-01-21T01:45:00.001+08:00

photos! ^^

present! :D loves please! ^^

this girl, named charlene(sharlene?) sent it to my phone. so cute right? adorable please! (:

lyn, asher, jo-an. (:

the loves: amanda, lyn, asher, claudy. (:

hannah! ((:

mengyee, junhui, lyn, ciufen. ((:

heh. just me. =P

the best friend! :D

econs presentation today! teacher kept saying it's very good! then i was happy luh. (: but. only to leave the room and find out that he said it to every other group. -.- let's hope for the best now! i can't afford to screw up my econs project. but i think i already did. :(

headed to tampines mall with my classmates. (: they are fun to be with luh! hahah. we play this dj game; one player but 4 of us playing at the same time. in the end, still fail. LOL. but we had fun luhhhh! :DD

you know you know! i admire people who can drum well! because right .. i think it's one musical instrument that is hard for me to pick up. :( walaooo. i really wanna learn! i think it's super cool! more cool than riding a motorbike. :D

heh. thanks eden. (: you are an amazing listener. (:

and and! kevinn. although you keep crapping luh .. but! hahah. i still appreciate you listening to me even though i get irritated. =p

okay, back to what happened today. ahhh, i was so irritated by this group of boys i didn't know. -.- i mean, i understand that under certain circumstances, like when there is no dustbins nearby, that you have to litter. but, omg. the dustbin was less than 10 steps away, but you have to dump it on the floor! ehhhh, i really don't understand some people. -.-

OKAY. ADRIAN GOT TO GO.SO I GOT TO END THIS ENTRY.
THANKS ADRIAN FOR LAPPY! (:

2008-01-20T14:12:00.000+08:00

but if you wanna cry, cry on my shoulders.

wow. their live version. nice pleaseeeee! (: quite amazed they sing so well live as well. hahah. i think the guy started off damn well. his voice super soothing pleasee! (: and the girl! rocks rocks! :D

hmm, i'm very extremely addicted to "inside your heaven" these days. for some reason, it just keeps playing in my head. and it's not about the lyrics, it's just the melody. addictive!

the sun and the moonlight, all my dreams are in your eyes.

every bit of air you're breathing in, a soothing wind.
i wanna be inside your heaven.

so niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (:

today is stoning at home day. got to do work. and tomorrow i've got econs presentation. =.= ahhh, have to wear formal. :( nevermind, bring clothes to change into. it's super uncomfortable pleaseeee.

and yesterday i went candy empire! :DD finally pleasee. bought a lot of chocolates and sweets! :D i was eating them just now. walao, super sinful. :( early in the morning lehhhhh. gonna grow fatTER le. :( sucks. exercise please lynette! x(

thanks markmarkk for specially accompanying me to candy empire! you rock pleaseee! ((:

okay, work now. but before that ..

to hiro: i don't know what happened, but please take care. i'll still be here for you, you know it. just go back soon okay? it's not gonna be easy, but at least try.. i'll be waiting for you to contact me. please do. take good care. *hugs.

to kevin: hey boy.. be strong. i couldn't say more, but .. take care of yourself. it may be hard from now on, but keep on keeping on! that's what they say right? i'll always be here for you, and so will Daddy God. don't give up on him just cause this happened, okay? *bigbighug* dedicating the following to you:

so say goodbye for just a while, and through the tears you'll start to smile.
for soon you'll be together, in heaven's arms forever.
at every step you're not alone, love's by your side to lead you on.
no looking back from here, your journey home has only just began.

cry it out if you must, don't bottle it up. it's totally okay for guys to cry. i'll be here for you if you need a crying partner. (: Jesus loves you, and i love you too. (:

2008-01-18T02:13:00.000+08:00

"SMILE; for you have given the world a reason to do so."

junhui is loves! thanks for cheering me up with that! so simple, yet so sweet. (:

and and and! ciu fen rocks too please! :D been really sweet and patient with me. ((: will miss you two as my classmates like siao! :(

submitted our macroeconomics project today. like, finally! ((: which means: 1 down, 3 more to go! :D marketing, organisational behaviour and sociology. jiayoujiayoujiayou! :D

oral presentation for macroeconomics on monday.
draft of presentation slides for sociology also due by monday.
lynette, please remember to do. (:

i've decided to end my entry here. suddenly lost the feel of blogging. will blog soon again! but lastly..

to my very special, one and only maybelle: please please cheer up! it makes me sad to see you not happy! :( and read the start of this entry. it's from me to you as well. (: you brought light into my life when it was dark. and i wish to do the same for you. i will always always be here for you, always! (: i love you! *hugs*

2008-01-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

woohoooo! philomena see rocks! :D she makes me wanna go for lecture! hahahah. but she's really good luh, to me. entertaining and gets her point across. (:

okay. this is damn random, but i wanna go vivo city to get chocolates! :( no timeeeee. -sulks. i shall go this weekend! anyone wants to go with me? :D

hmm, i was watching caleb do shooting today. and .. i realised it's really damn tiring. :( a lot more tiring than i thought it would be. and i feel so much for all the mediacorp people now! so .. persevering.
jiayou`s caleb and tom! :D

anywayyyyyy! joyce is superrrrrrr sweet can! i just made a brief mention that i wanted the yellow shirt, and she got it for me! omggg! LOVES please! :D you rock you rock! ^^ no wonder i wanted to turn homo because of you. =p heh.

and so, it's room alone for the second day already. :( sucks pleaseeee. i hate sleeping alone! damn scary ..

anywayanywayanyways!
i got back all my results already. can say that i'm pretty satisfied? despite many factors. hahah.
accountings - 40/45, A
organisational behaviour - 33/40, A
macroeconomics - 83/100, A
business statistics - 39/50, B+
sociology - 15/20, B+
marketing fundamentals - 35/50, B

(: but now, moving towards the end of the year .. the confidence i have in maintaining my results has dropped. probably too many uncertainties these days, causing me to lose focus. just hope that end of year results will turn out good? sooo.. jiayou everyone! :D

i shouldn't say more. i got projects to do. -.- can you believe it, i actually forgot about the report part of my project. i actually forgot to do. so stupid pleaseeeeee. :(

okayokay! work now! take caresssss! LOVES! :D

2008-01-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

oh yes. i forgot to thank ronald. (:

thank you for everything, really. those times when you see me down, you just go "lynnieee". those encouraging things you did, like sending me a message to tell me i did well. those times you protected me from potential harm.

you've been a great friend. (: please continue being a great friend to everyone aight? it's a blessing to have met you. (:

one more thing. i dropped my handphone like 9723482342 times during open house, even almost lost it. so thank God for all those protection, and that my phone is still in condition although it'll be cranky at times. =p

take care loves. (:

--- -------

(: i found a really nice rendition of "part of your world". i think it's niceee. ((: there's a initial 30 seconds of don't-know-what. but listen on, it's worth it. (:

out of the sea, wish i could be, part of your world.

2008-01-13T02:00:00.000+08:00

open house 2008 has officially ended today. (: great job to both vivian and kelly! i believe all three of us has gained a lot through this experience. it was a pleasure working with you two. (:

reflections aside, i need to thank so so so many people.
okay, maybe i thank people too many times that it feels so .. common already. but please know that i really mean it, cause gratitude is a feeling i cannot suppress.

first and foremost,
john. like already mentioned in the earlier post; thanks for all those patience and concern you've shown for us. it was really great working under you. thanks for teaching so much and .. i look forward to any next time that i can work with you once again. (:

tatyi. for those constructive advices and also being patient with me. your opinion matters a lot to me, so i really appreciate everything. (:

ashely. for being such an encouraging friend throughout this whole period. i really needed support, and you were part of that support. really super grateful! love you like mad please! ((:

derek. for tolerating all my nonsense. ): for being so concerned about me, and being that person who always listen to me whine. it's so weird how i got myself so acquainted with you because of a jacket. but but. i guess that's good! because it's through that, that i gained myself a good friend. (:

mark. my gosh, you're the best please! you listen to my problems, hear me whine, care about me including the smallest thing, shower me with tlc and moreee! words cannot describe how grateful i am to have a friend like you. (: loves please!

hannah. you've been such a great new-found good friend! :D thanks for trying to help me out when you have your own issues to settle. thanks so much for that ear of yours! i'm so so glad that we shared so much that day at east coast. love you please! take goodddd care of yourself yah. -hugs.

sean. (: like i've already said, you've been a fantasticccc help. without you, i would have messed up a lot. but thanks for always being so willing. (: and and and! thanks for that barrrrrr you gave me this morning! omg, i was sooo touched (x 23462384) you know. was really super sweet of you! (:

claudine. like always, your ear and your love&concern. (: thanks for always being the brave one around. you've been such a greatt joy in my life! i love you my sexy! :D

keng chuan. thanks for helping me throughouttt day 3. it really would have been impossible to handle without you around. you've been such a great helper, and i super duper appreciate it! thanks for staying back and sacrificing those times you could have had fun just to help out at the booth. and yes, you were the one i thanked during debrief. (:

emilla. super thanks for your help! (: even though you were not supposed to be at my booth, but nevertheless, you stayed and gave your best. which is something i really should thank you for. thanks for giving so so much into tpoh`08. (: and yes, you were also the one i thanked during debrief. (:

last but not least, eric. for all the concern you've shown to me as a friend, i really appreciate it all. (:

the bottomline of this whole thing? i super appreciate every single one of you in my life. (: really, super! and don't judge my gratitude towards one by the length of the thankyou message. there's only a lot, or a lot a lot of gratitude. no a bit, or quite a lot. (: cause right in the first place, even before tpoh, without you guys, i really wouldn't be where i am now. (:

it's been a crazy three days. i've been drained out in every way possible. and my body aches like mad, especially my legs. ): so it's time for a good good rest. i think i will stay home the whole of tomorrow to replenish my hyper-ness. hahah, wanna date me out nearby also can! =p

enjoy your sunday! <3

these 3 days has really been a turning point.
in good ways, and bad ways.

2008-01-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

"lynette to vivian, lynette to vivian."

hahahahh. open house was fun today! though i think i'm like half-deaf already. hahah. but i feel so bad you know. i keep cannot hear what they are saying over the walkie-talkie cause it's so muffled, then like forever asking them to repeat. -.- ahhh, i really felt bad about it yeah. sorry. :(

but but but. thanks so many people for guiding me along!

thanks edwin. for teaching me here and there things that i ought to learn. (:

thanks yuting. for being such a great advisor and friend, despite the 'short-ness'. hahahah.

thanks john. for being so patient, for teaching us so much, for giving in so much. really appreciate everything. (:

thanks gideon. for helping me look out and such, and so many more. thanks. (:

thanks derek. for hearing me whine and everything. hahah. you've been a pillar of support. (:

thanks joan. for that sentence of encouragement. i really needed it. thanks! (:

thanks izak. for believing in me. it really lifts me up. (:

and thanks everyone else out there who helped me through the first day. (: let's jiayou for the second day aight! we can do it! :DDD

TPSU OEIIII! :D

2008-01-09T00:40:00.000+08:00

hellooooooooooooooooooooooooo! :D
(random post ahead!)

been busy these days! trying to help out in the preparations of open house. it's tiring luh. but it's .. fun in a way i guess. enjoyed it quite a bit. (: i like to know that i can be of help. (:

i got 83/100 for my macroeconomics paper! quite happy luh, though it isn't like high A or anything. cause i expected like a B for it. so like yah, outcomes > expectations = super satisfied! ((:

joyce is damn cute! :D hahah. i was at bsc room, and messaging her. then i was asking if she was gonna come up to bsc room or something. her reply was "having project meeting. not coming." then when i finished replying her right, she appeared right in front luh! so sweet please! :D hahah. gonna fall in love with you le! =p

oh yah. yesterday was damn funny. junhui, shameen and me were all late for tutorial. -.- it's like a damn rare scene. hahah.

then today. was just.. =.= i went to school thinking that accountings was my second lecture. but in the end, it was econs. -.- had to borrow junhui's notes to print. anyway, thanks ciu fen for lending me your OB notes! (:

met yuting to go to the library to watch billy elliot. heh, benchow accompanied me as well. (: thanks! :D and and. a lot a lot a lot of thanks to yuting for helping me take down sooooo much notes! it's like, you're doing my project already. hahah. xiexie! appreciate it loadsss please! ^^

i think billy elliot is a heartwarming movie. (: hahah. i especially like the scene where the father ran to find the teacher after seeing him dance for the first time. (:

and i think tap dance is cool! hahah. cause it's a dance that i can never do. -.- hahahah.

tomorrow's another busy day. take care everyone. :D

you've lost that respect i have for you as a friend.

2008-01-06T18:33:00.000+08:00

have no fear, my little one
peace be with you now
love has come to guide you home
to our father's house

fly with us, courageous one
on our wings of light
past the days of fear and pain
to our father's side

so say goodbye for just a while
and through the tears you'll start to smile
for soon you'll be together
in Heaven's arms forever
at every step, you're not alone
love's by your side to lead you on
no looking back from here
your journey home has only just begun

dance with us, my gentle one
as we sing your song
the stars He made will light your way
to our Father's house

arise my child, my precious one
awakening in your eyes
love is calling you by name
to our Father's arms

i still remember back then. this was my favourite song of all. i used to cry when i hear this song. i think it's so beautifully written. must listen okay! i spent a lot of time trying to upload it. :( just for you all only! (:

and so, i stoned in parkway for a full 4 hours before finally meeting raazmy @ 1630. the rest of the venos? reached at 1800. -.- some even later. hahah, but i guess at the end of the day it was worth it. (:

sigh, i lost my newspaper article for my macro-economics project. -.- i really don't remember taking it out of my bag in the first place.. probably dropped it somewhere along the way. ahh, sucks. now i got to find new articles to replace. and, i need to get it done by tomorrow. because miss efficient shameen wants to show mr fong the draft piece. -.-

you know. being in the same group with shameen is really good. and i really got to thank her for everything. for pushing us and stuff. but, there are always disadvantages lah. -.- lol. though i would say the advantages overweigh the disadvantages. soooo, thankyou! :DD

i'm supposed to be doing my project now luh. but.. -.- okay, nevermind. going for dinner with my dad later! like, after sooo long. since his birthday i think. hahah. but tomorrow got school, so cannot stay out too long. :(

a champion is someone who gets up,
even when he can't.
(: jiayou`s for all your projects people! :D

EDITED

dinner was great! :D we went to this very popular claypot rice place (according to dad). hahah, he rocks please. always bring us to the nicest places around to eat. x)) lucky me. hahah. i really enjoyed dinner. one of the best i've ever had. :D

so, i was talking to my dad about buying new year's clothes. hahah. cause he's the one who always bring us to buy luh. then i'm saying, how busy i am, etc etc etc. then what if i see something i like at, for example parkway, then he bring us to orchard to buy. etc etc etc lah. then say, must own time own target. cause i very busy, etc. hahah. then in the end, he gave me $200 to buy first. x) so nice please. hahah. so yay! i can shop already! :DD

hahah. but everything i said was true okay! just that, maybe i'm not as busy as i said lah. x) hahah, it's not like i won't return him if i don't buy anything! but yayyyyy! i can shop! -smilesbigbig!

anyway. i just remembered i haven't watched the show i need for my sociology project. -.- and i told my group members to watch it. -.- right, how responsible. okay, i will skip lectures to watch it on tuesday. LOL. no lah, i'll watch it sometime before my tutorial on wednesday. (:

okay, now back to my econs project. -.- save me. :(

2008-01-04T19:52:00.000+08:00

and so, lynette is down with a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad flu. sigh. it sucks please. i feel so horrible. :( but but. i have this super bad craving for ben&jerry's chocolate fudge brownie.

it's really very sweet of amanda, benchow and shep to be so concerned and stuff. (: i'm craving for it very very badly though. :( i just wish i ain't this sick. it really sucks.

all my tutors are so nice to me. x) they were so concerned over me being sick. let me rest and stuff. so i'm really happy luh. (: including junhui and eden! super sweet; specially asked me to take care. appreciate it loads loads loads! :D

then then then. i got back like TWO of my papers. and so far, i'm really happy with it luh. (:
sociology - 15/20, B+
organisational behaviour - 33/40, A

happy happy please! like, i so expected to get C or something for both, because i really wasn't confident for the paper. happy luh. ((:

and there's one more thing to be happy about. :D i don't have to worry about being in the same class with someone next year at all. ^^ not being mean, but i'm really damn happy. :D

my statistics tutor is damn cute. hahah. he say the question very easy, then just put at the end beside the question "(dwmt)". hahahah. don't waste my time! super cute please.

hmm, i feel so random now. hahah. so that's the end of my entry.

very importantly now, thank you derek for lending me your laptop while you were playing your game halfway. damn love you please! hahahah. :D

take care guys. have a great weekend aight. (: i'll be spending my day with venos tomorrow. fun again. (: hope i feel better by then though.

loves.

EDITED

omg! i forgot! i'm supposed to say this:

i'm damn honoured because my blog is the only blog mark lim jun jie reads.

HAHAH. done! saw that?!?!! =P but i still love you damn a lot please! thanks for always and forever being there for me when i'm down and out. thanks for all those walks to school together, it's always so fruitful. ETC ETC ETC! friends forever please! :D

2008-01-03T04:38:00.001+08:00

those whom i don't have your links up here, please leave your links behind if you want me to link you aight. (:

and the comment box is up also; at the end of each entry. please continue tagging even though there is a tagboard already. hahah.

and lastly, i really really damn pissed with my laptop. i got project meeting tomorrow. and the best thing is, my desktop has no microsoft office. congrats lyn.

cry yourself to death please.

2008-01-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

wow. i really never felt that i have so much work to do all my life. seriously, it's a whole load of work to keep me super occupied. i have been typing non-stop for the past 1hour plus and the feeling is just .. O_O.

hmm, despite all that, i'm feeling really good now. i really feel that i've met the best people of my life, and there's nothing more that i should ask for. otherwise, it's plain greediness. (:

okays! pictures! x)

"EH EH! MY EYE CANDY HOLD MY HAND!" hahahahah. x)

random drawings by her! (:

a potato chip! so cute right?! :D

hey hiro. thanks for getting that for me! was really really nice. ((: loves loads! x)

next up, venos' outing!

hahah, them playing twister.

you, have added so much into my life. despite this very short period. loves. (:

and along with you. you two really are one of the best people in my life. (: and i have done nothing to have deserve such a friend like you. thanks for everything.. (:

so everyone, here's venos for you.

(:

and then it's countdown @ shep's place! :D

and there they are, the best people of my life. (:

my goshhhhh. my laptop like totally died on me?.. i'm screwed. my project's in there. ahhhhhhhh. all my stuff inside!!

and. my back has been whining to me. i don't understand why, since i haven't been dancing or doing any that should hurt it .. i just hope it gets better.

okay, it's now 0346. time for bed. till then, see ya! (:

a brand new start - year 2008!

2008-01-01T12:57:00.000+08:00

happy new year everyone! :D

hope year 2007 has been a blast for you all! :D but if not, fret not! start year 2008 off well! give your best in everything you do, love everyone like there's no tomorrow, treasure and be contented with every single thing, do what you want and do not regret, and .. the list goes on and on. but most importantly, keep smiling; because you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile. (:

"i can always make you smile"
(it's supposed to be the 'theme' of the new template. but i changed it due to some reasons. ohwell.)
i dedicate it to every single one of you reading this. in 2008, i hope that whatever any of you go through, there's always someone there for you, someone who can always make you smile despite the circumstances. (:

as for me, this year's countdown is the best! (:
even though there were tears shed. but it was spent with the best people in the world. i am really lucky to have them as my friends. (:

so first and most importantly!
a big big big thanks to shep for opening his house up to us! :D really really thank you for everything. you've made this year such a memorable one. ((:

and to everyone else who were there, thank you for being part of my life. (: really. and thanks for all of your concern. (: even though i didn't seem too good.. but i was really happy to see all of you so happy. ((:

hahah, sometimes i think i thank too much and smile too much that .. people tend to take it for granted. i don't mean it in a bad way. i just wanna say that .. know that, each time i thank and smile, it's really genuine and from the bottom of my heart. so please take it seriously. (:

anyway! back to topic. before i get to my new year resolutions, ..

looking back, year 2007 has been a year filled with much joy, and also much tears. but without those great friends of mine, i wouldn't have made it through the year.

grace.
i know i've thanked you so many times already, but i feel a strong need to do it again. thank you for always being there for me, through my good times, and my bad times. life was never the same for me ever since we became close. new friends may come along, but know that they'll never be able to take that place you have in my heart. (: iloveyou!

jack.
despite the fact that we talk a lot lesser this year, but you are never less sweeter/nicer to me. thanks for being the one who always understands me, who always trust me, who always believes in me, who always supports me. thanks for taking up the role of a big brother in my life. you'll forever be that friend i would cherish. (: loves!

hiro.
thank you for staying by me and showering me endless love and concern despite me throwing crap at you. thank you for always encouraging me when i'm done, for always building up my confidence and everything else. without you, i wouldn't have been who i am today. you have made a huge difference in my life. (: loves.

to SU people, who are so cool.
i am filled with gratitude towards all of you! thanks for making my life in temaskpoly such an exciting and fulfilling one! you guys have added a humongous amount of joy into my life! (:

claudine, also my sexy.
thanks girl for all your concern and love, for always been there when i need someone to be there. it's been a pleasure knowing you, really. love forever! x)

gideon.
hey. thanks for always being the one who's listening to me, helping me and even protecting me. you've played a big role in my life. and i really treasure this friendship we share. (: friends forever please!

glenn.
thanks for always being there for me, for making time out of your busy-ness to hear me out and stuff. i really appreciate it. (: as a ex-co of tpsu, you've been a great leader. and i've learnt things from you. (: but stay as my friend forever, okay? :D

tom.
you've been an inspiration to me, and also a role model for me to take after. thanks for everything; the patience you had, the love and concern you showered, the times you were there listening me out.. just everything. you are amazing luh. it's a great blessing to have known you before you left tp, really. (:

caleb.
hahah, thanks for being so cute! lol, i have never seen a guy at your age acting cute like that. lol. but really, i'm glad that i got to know you before you left tp! you've been an encouraging friend. and for that, i really got to learn from you as well. hahah, thanks for all the joy! (:

mark.
thanks for always always always lending me a listening ear. you've been the one that has been there for me whenever i'm down, encouraging me. and you have never asked for anything in return. i really really treasure this friendship we share. (: thanks for being such a giver!

hakim.
thanks for always being so concerned over me and stuff. i really appreciate it when you nag me to sleep late at night each time. =p you've been a good friend! (:

isaac.
thanks for being there for me when i was down! i think you make a great listener, really. (: and i'm really lucky i found a friend like you. ((:

chrystal.
you are one of those friends i know i can count on and trust. thanks for being such a friend in my life! always ready to listen and help. it's been such a joy knowing you. (:

amos.
hahah. thanks for being the most cartoon figure in my life. =p thanks for being so spontaneous and adding so much so much joy to everyone's lives! i'm sure they all agree with me. hahah. friends forever! :D

amanda.
thanks for all those concern and those times you listened to me. (: it's really a good thing to have known you better. (:

ashely.
thanks for always being so concerned about me. for all those times we shared with each other our problems. you've added so much more love into my life! it's really been a pleasure knowing you. ((:

ben chow.
thanks for being such a joy in my life! really appreciate it. (: thanks for remembering to buy me stuff when you went hongkong! hahah, i was shocked please. hmm, you've been a good friend to talk to. thanks for always listening to me. it has been a joy to call you my friend. (: hahah, yes lah yes lah! CUTE LAH! lol! =p

yeeping.
thanks for being both a friend and a teacher to me. (: thanks for always listening me out, giving me advices and teaching me so many things. more importantly, thanks for sharing how you feel back with me. (: it's been a pleasure knowing you. ((:

yuting.
you are one of the most nonsensical, yet wisest person i've ever known. thanks for being there, listening to me. thanks for all those advices and guidance. will never forget you! been a great pleasure knowing you. (:

maybelin.
thank you for all those advices and concern. (: you've been a good friend. (:

eric.
thanks for always being there to listen me out. (: appreciate it lots! and always ready to render your help to me, especially when it comes to my laptop. =p

shep.
you've been such a nice friend to me. thanks for showing all those concern when i was down. (: and thanks for allll the joy you've added to my life! it's been great knowing you before you leave tp. (:

derek.
mister indifferent. lol. but thanks for lending me a listening ear, and even sharing with me your stuff. (: hahah. thanks for your patience. been a pleasure knowing you. (:

shaz.
thanks for helping me back then and always being so reliable. (: hahah. been a pleasure knowing you! hope to see you at FO! =p

joyce.
my eyecandy! hahahah. okay, thanks for being .. so nice to me these days. it's reallybeen fun being around you. and also .. thanks for listening me out and understanding i feel. also also! thanks for sharing your stuff with me also. (: it's been really a great pleasure to know you and call you my friend. (: scandals forever! x)

maybelle.
you've been an angel, really. (: with all those love, concern, patience, protection and everything else you've showered into my life. i am really really glad that we've resolved our past issue, and here we are, friends. you've been a really great friend. (: loves!

kevin.
thanks for being such a good friend. always there when i'm down, and always listening. (even though you lame a bit too much .. -.-) really glad to have a friend like you in my life. (:

hmm, my new year resolutions!

put in my heart into building each friendship.
treasure every single one like they mean the world.
make my friends feel significant.

be there more for my family.
learn to cherish every single one of them more.
love them like there's no tomorrow.

handle my time well enough.
balance between my different commitments.
keep my grades up.

be less short-tempered.
be less easily irritated.
have more patience.
be more understanding.

love like i've never been hurt.
forgive like it's their first time.
be easier on myself.

lastly, and most importantly,
make sure i achieve all these by the end of 2008!

looks like there's a lot for me to work on in 2008. so please friends, help me along okay? heh, which explains why i love you all so much. (:

okayokay. pretty long entry. shan't drag on anymore.

take care guys! and have a great year 2008 ahead! love to the max! :D

ps. will edit the template again. tagboard's up though. (:

2007-12-30T00:27:00.000+08:00

it's finally home sweet home after such a long day. i've never felt so much of wanting to be at home for a long time already. i've always enjoyed being around friends more. but perhaps, i'm just too drained.

and so! we met up, 11am @ cityhall interchange. (: appreciate fong yung, josephine, roy and fion for being so punctual! (: waited for nicc to come, then we went to raffles city! and i decided to buy donuts! hahah, only bought two though. now thinking back, i don't know where i left my second donut. =/ probably left it at mos burger. so the rest of the breakfast clan met up @ mos burger.

went to plaza singapura to find jolene! she was doing flag day. hahah. after that, went toilet then we headed to raffles place interchange. hahah. met the rest of the people there! headed for our main program: mind's cafe! :D had fun luh. (:

after that, headed to marina square! slacked around. got lost for a while. then decided to go buy food and then go to an open space to eat together. i didn't have the appetite though..

asked my brother to come find me after that! and he's so nice to agree. (: cause i was scared luh! they were saying ghost stories. :((

thanks yeeping. for all the advices, encouragements and very importantly, your listening ear. (:
thanks mickey. for listening to everything, and more importantly, for being open enough to share yours with me. (:
thanks maybelle. for all those encouragements, advices, and listening ear. more importantly, your patience. (:
thanks verena. for all the joy, and everything else. i was so mistaken about you. (:
thanks nicc. for listening to me, understanding and everything else. (:

and so, i was higher towards the end of today luh. great company! (: hahahh.
"EH EH, MY EYE CANDY HOLD MY HAND!"
i got a picture of her holding my hand. x) will post it up the next time! :D
hahahahah. my eye candy leh. x) and she's so nice today. -smiles.

i'm feeling unwell these days. maybe it's cause of the late nights i've been having. i only ate a donut in the morning, a few wedges @ mind's, and a few spoons of my brother's noodles. and the more amazing thing is, i don't feel hungry. .. ahhhhh.

anyway, tomorrow's at-home day. i'll be staying at home, and trying to do my work and catch up on my sleep, i suppose. but i can still go out luh. so if you need my company, just ring me up yeah.

take cares. <3

2007-12-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

venos' random lunch today. (: not many people turned up, but it was still good luh! they were still good company. (: especially maybelle! she's nicee. ((: <3

met grace @ paya lebar mrt, then headed for bugis. walked around, and had dinner. hahah, thanks girl for hearing me rant! i know i was irritating.. but but but! i know you still love me luh. :D hahah, uber nice to hear me rant for 37492374 hours! ^^ headed for her place after that. left not long after.

headed home luh. then i saw this couple. this guy was one head shorter than the girl! (no, i'm not trying to discriminate here.) but i think it was amazing. to me, it's sweet. and i think that's part of the power of love. (:

oh, grace gave me a pair of very cute dolphin earrings. thanks girl! really appreciate your thought! ^^ -hug. take cares; everything will be fine. (: ily! <3

and so, the end of a great day. (: and tomorrow's a greater day! :D venos' outing; what less should i expect?! heh. can't wait! see ya guys! :DD

2007-12-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

sleeping from 0600 to 0900 only is bad enough. having to wake up and go to school to do project is pure torture. x( i was sooooooo tired. but slept in lounge after that. felt so much better. :D

hmm, cafe cartel is a nice place to relax and chat about anything under the sun! ^^ was there with gideon, yuting and joan. hahah, yuting is just so cute. (:

and that was how i spent my today. (:

no plans for tomorrow. damn sad. x( anyone planning to jio me out? :D hahah.

anyway. i'm quite .. lost. i want to take global citizenship as my cds! so it's like, at least i've completed one more cds that kind of thing. buttttttttttt. if i go the trip, right after i come back is FO already. and .. during FO that week, i'll have to do presentations and all. means.. i shouldn't go for the trip right? :( wah, sadded. i thought i can completed all 3 cds in semester 2.1. x(

anyways! take cares. (: <3

i wish.
but i'm contented.

2007-12-25T22:59:00.000+08:00

everytime before i reach home, i remind myself of the things to blog, etc. but whenever i sit down before the computer, everything just slips off my mind. =.= i need to write it down man.

ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY!
christmas day '07 was greatt! :DD

so it all started on 24th december 2007.. i woke up, tried to write stuff to some people, then i left home for school! on my way, i met this very very nice elderly. (: she was super sweet. she wanted me to sit, then i said it's okay. then she moved in just to let me sit down. super sweet! she doesn't look in very good health, but she still kept smiling at me! so sweet cannnn. totally made my xmas eve. x)

brought all the cookies i bought to school, and gave it to them! slacked around.. then i headed for dhoby ghaut! to collect my yummylicious brownies. :D

headed to bugis after that to pass yeeping her and claud's present. talked to her about some stuff, etc. thanks for listening and all the advices! i will think everything through. (:

went backkk to school after that! passed the rest their respective gifts. and and and! i'm damn happy so many people like my presents! really really happy! ^^ slack slack slack and then i headed to orchard to meet kevin, steph and jj. (:

we went to far east plaza, grabbed a bite and kevin cut his hair! so nice i tell you. looks so cute now. :D then we met melisa and company! hahah, they are so much fun! high entertainment value! =p really enjoyed their company. (:

then we went to somerser station nearby to meet may&co and james&girlfriend. they slacked around and played some random games. then i was talking to kevin. heh, thanks boy for listening! super appreciate it. (:

after which, we went our separate ways. kevin, steph, jj and me went to HQ @ paradiz there. i was basically chatting away luh. they were playing.. battlefield, i think? hahah. played for about 2 hours, then we headed to esplanade! sat down there and talked. then i fell asleep. bleh.

went home and the first thing i did was fall asleep. =.= didn't even have the strength to think about anything. woke up late at one plus. x( took cab to meet xiao ming, after that went to school together. (: hmm, party wasn't all that ideal. butbut! the company was still great! (: ordered canadian. and after that, we went over to kfc to eat. then then then, tom's dad fetched maybelin and me to eunos mrt station. (: thanks tom&dad! (:

made my way to weiliang's place for bbq. was okay luh. (: heh, thanks for everything! :D

that's roughly the end of my two days. (: i've enjoyed mine to the fullest, and i hope all of you guys have also! :DD

today on my way back.. i saw this elderly selling tissue paper. and because he was standing at a place where there's a lot of crowd, people don't stop and buy from him at all. i was one of them. i walked, and walked and walked. stopped cause it felt so wrong. thought about it. took out $2, walked all the way back and bought it from him. and everything felt so right after that; that smile on his face. (:

i think i've changed. i used to do it all the time, but now not anymore. i just do it at my own convenience. if someone approach me, then i'll buy. for me, that's not right. and i'll change, back to how i used to be. (:

this packet of tissue paper is not just any tissue paper. it tells me that i have changed for the worse, and i need to be more conscious of it! this will be one of my new year resolutions: to buy from anyone i see in future. (: a few dollars to help others and, at the same time, see such a genuine smile and gratitude, worth it. (:

next next next!
i wanna thank so many of you all! :D

jack; really, that present you gave me is sooo cute. x) super like it please! thanks for always trying to find different stitches for me, it's really super sweet of you. (:

yeeping; you might think yours is nothing much or whatever. but i think the thought was very important. you must have spent quite some time doing all those, so i really appreciate it! :D

ronald; thanks for the very cute soft toy! :D but no, it does not look like me! hahah. =p

amos; hahah, your mass-buy presents. =p but thanks! at least there's my name somewhere! =p :DDD

shep; that thing is really cute luh! the two front teeth, so cute! x) thankyouu! and i'll always smile when i think of you. ((: i hope you do also! hahah. :D

glenn; thankss! i like friendship bands! :DD

mark; hahahah! the funniest present of all. thanks man! it's really super creative to think of buying that for me! hahah, but i'm not a hamster okay! heh. :D

kimberly; thanks for the chocolates and the clipclip! :DD it's cute! ^^

caleb&tom; thanks, really. it's one of the sweetest gifts i've ever received. thanks for putting
so much so much thought into it. (: super duper love it! ^^

tom; hahah, thanks for your two little things. (: your thought means more than whether it's big or small. (: thankyouu! :D

and i know i will receive more presents. =p so will update again! hahaahah. x) but so farrrr:

:DDD!

lastlyyyyyy!

kevin, steph, jj and me. lightsticks are the LOVE please! :D for some weird and unknown reason, i'm super attracted to lightsticks! i can look at lightsticks and start smiling to myself. x) hahahah.

heh, okay! abit too late, but it's okay!

MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!
i love you guys like heaven loads! ^^ <3

2007-12-24T03:09:00.000+08:00

i promised derek to advertise his blog for him, so i would.

http://storyoflaughter.livejournal.com

please visit his blog, and do some purchases if you like the items okay? thankyou. (:

jack, thankyou for coming all the way down to get the present from me, and also to pass me my present. thank you for always making an effort to find something i'll like. it's not easy to find different stitch for occasion, but you've always managed to do so. thank you for everything. thank you for being the one who understands me the most. <3

first time we took pictures together. (:

2007-12-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

and it's at times like these that i feel that i'm at the deepest valley in my life. i'm so tired, so drained. yet i still try to give my best. but it doesn't seem like it matters. there are just so many stuff going on now. stuff that i cannot even share with grace, jack. it just hurts me so much. yet i face the world with a smile on my face, and the most sincerity and genuineness i can offer to anyone. but it's just .. disappointing to know that some people don't really give a damn about you. it's like "if you're there, you're there. if you're not, then you're not."
maybe i'm just overly-sensitive at times. but i feel that alot of people don't like me. and living in doubt.. it really sucks.
i wish i could do more. i wish people would love me more.
and the purpose of this? i wish you would care enough to read it. that you would care enough to maybe leave me a note or something.
and dear God, this x'mas, i pray for my family. please watch over them. amen.

it's x'mas eve. enjoy yourself everyone. (:

2007-12-23T00:25:00.001+08:00

woohoooooooo! i finally feel that christmas is really coming! :DD

collected my pre-orders for a few friends today. got presents for a few. i am happy! :D it's nice seeing people receive the presents and love it alot! it's such a great feeling! ^^

tomorrow's for giving presents and buying presents! after that will be x'mas eve with james, kevin & company! :D hope it'll be funnn!

nexttttt!

VENOS! x)

and the flag that we are all very proud of!
with special thanks to amos for coming up with the design! :D

2007-12-22T03:14:00.000+08:00

"just take it that we never ever met."
and that just became the end of everything.

i'm sorry things had to turn out this way at the end. i really am.. i wish i could do anything to make it right again, but that'll be pulling us both back to square one. so.. i'm not gonna do anything this time.

i'm sorry i hurt you this much. i didn't mean for all these to happen.. maybe it was just indecisiveness on my part. there's so much more than just that.. but at the end of the day, i'm just sorry. i was the one who was being draggy and everything. i just wanted to lessen the pain of both of us, but i ended up added more pain to it. i'm just .. damn sorry.

thankyou for that chance to love you. thankyou for everything.
i wont be there to take care of you anymore.
so please please take good care of yourself. rmb to eat properly. dont anyhow shout anymore. dont spoil ur voice. your throat. im sorry. not even friends. you are not someone i can say hi to and not fall in love with. goodbye..
even if no one calls you cute anymore.. rmb, that in my heart, you will always be the cutest girl in the world (: ..
i loved you. i always will.

thankyou.. really..

you know. you were so much of a dream come true for me. i've always always hoped for someone to love me like you did when i was young. and you came along and made my dream come true. thank you really ..

i really loved you. but somewhere along the way, something just happened. i don't know what it is. maybe it's how we've been treating each other. maybe it's how i can't forgive and forget all those you did as easily as i thought i would have. maybe it's alot of many other maybe`s.

i'm sorry i made you fall so deep. i'm just sorry for causing so much pain to you..

i'll end off with the song that both of us share.

all these precious moments
with you by my side
must be a gift from heaven
that's holding me all night

i don't how i found you
i'm thankful that i had
now that i have a love so true
to hold to keep to share

in my heart
i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i'll always be
with you until the very end

in this world
there is no place i'd rather be
you are my life, my soul, my girl
and through it all
i know you'd come to see
that you're the one till the end

all my friends surround me
say you'll be gone too soon
baby i'm gonna make them see
we've found our way back home

in my heart
i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i'll always be
with you until the very end

in this world
there is no place i'd rather be
you are my life, my soul, my girl
and through it all
i know you'd come to see
that you're the one till the end

we'll always be till the end

this song used to say so much about us..

but with this, i end off .. everything we used to share. all those tears, laughter and times we went through together. i thank you for making me the person i am now. you've given me so much so much. i don't know what i've given you, but i hope it's enough to bring you through all these hurt..
take good care of yourself. i'll be here for you, even if you don't want me to. goodbye mfl; thanks for every single thing you've left in my life. i hope you get through this and find another girl who truly loves you and deserve everything you've got to offer to her.

with loads of loves and hugs,
lyn; tcgitw, sbg, mfl.

2007-12-20T16:40:00.000+08:00

OTC's over! :D i think it was great! and and and! VENOS rocks please! although our group is the smallest, i think we did great! i think all VENOSians are damn nice! maybe i don't talk to alllll of them, but can see that all of them are nice, and good-natured. i think that's good enough. :D

i think the 'funnest' part is the water games! omg, i love it please!

i've lost my voice in exchange for three days of fun, laughter and joy. so it's worth it! :D

special thanks to everyone; joyce, maybelle, janice, fion, carmen, kah yuen, pamela, chang yong, dexter, caleb, rayna, caroli, tracy, geraldine, zen, nick cheong, lynette teo, angel, sin yan, amos, lai hock, wei dong, jolene, wei da, jel, zhaopei, stephanie, jean, yin cheng, hannah, rachel, verena, ryan, roy, hakim, mail, linette, fong yung, amanda, derek, josephine, mong ling, kok sheng, badd, raamy, farid, yuan long, kok chun, apple, jay lloyd, and especially hakim and yeeping! :DD

thanks so much for being part of VENOS, for making my first OTC such a great one! LOVELOVES! :DD

ALSO ALSO! thanks all programmers, food/min`s and log comms! :D for making the whole OTC successful! :D

lastly, congrats to nick cheong, gideon, chrystal, ronald and xavier on being the best GL`s of your respective empires! :D happy for you all! totally deserve it please! ^^

TAKECARES! enjoy the rest of your holidays! :D

2007-12-16T23:00:00.000+08:00

to my dearest, again.
i just wish you wouldn't do all those to yourself. it hurts me to see you like that, and keep it to yourself. i wish you could share everything with me; i wish that we could be just like how i am with my friends. i'm scared, but yet i can't share with them. i can only pray deep in my heart that one day you will stop hurting yourself like how you are now. i need you in my life, and i love you. i hope you feel it.

i hope everything will be fine when i'm away for camp. please take good care of yourself.

dear God, this is the first time i'm praying to you after so long. i'm not trying to make use of you or anything. but please, please look after her like you have all these time. you know we need her in our lives. may this prayer goes up to your throne like a sweet aroma.

loves,
lyn.(:

and soooooo. OTC is just a few hours away! i'm excited, like every other participant in OTC! please take good care of yourselves and i'll talk to you all again after my camp!

i'll still be here if you ever need me. just ring/message me @ my number aight?
loves. <3

EDITED

oh yes, how can i not blog about yesterday!

so yesterday a group of us met @ orchard! started shopping and stuff. hahah, and i concluded that guys are more fussy than girls when they shop! omg, they took sooo long to decide! hahah.

after that, the main comms and sub comms of OTC left for their bbq and the rest of us headed to mind's cafe at selegie. hahahah, was so much fun! :DD let's go there again soon! :DDD

andand! thank you chrystal for your jacket! it saved my life. ((:

2007-12-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

thank you amos! (:
you know, i was damn happy when amos offered me lightsticks! i lovee lightsticks! especially especially the blue one! super pretty pleaseeeeeeeeee!
but you know what. i lost it. :( sigh, damn sad now. i hope i can find it in lounge when i go back. x(

and youu. thankyou. (: it's nice to see someone show their concern in that manner. i think it's damn sweet. thanks. (:

hmm, grace is at cambodia already. wish that everything will be okay for her there. (:

my new addictions to songs!

i like this song's lyrics. and the guy is cute when he smiles! so cute. :D he's korean you knowwwwww. hahah. so cool please. his voice rocks. x)

and i like the melody to this! i think her singing improved. she sounds better now also! (:

two more days to OTC!

and lastly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATYI!
hahah, if you get to read it luh. yup, hope you enjoy your day. (:

2007-12-13T13:57:00.000+08:00

ob was not as bad as i thought it would be. but, i don't think i did well enough. wait, no. i thought i did well enough. but after hearing what my classmates said, and seeing the amount they wrote, i feel a bit .. worried now. i cannot afford a C, or even a C+. :(

i know i know, quantity doesn't matter. but the people that wrote a lot, are those who write in quality as well. which makes everything worse. so let's just hope and pray that i'll get at least a B yeah?

statistics seemed really easy. but i guess there were mistakes here and then. butttttt. i think i can get a low A at least? (:

accountings. it was just plain .. :( i read 'november' as 'september'. and the worst thing is, i was so sure of it because i read it at least 3 times. =.= .. so dumb of me. let's just hope they have the error-carry-forward system, so i don't get a C+ and at least a B. or if better, an A still. -hopes. because accountings is one subject that i have to get A. x_x wish me all the best............

last, and worst. marketing fundamentals.
nope, i haven't taken the paper. it's tomorrow! and i think i'm gonna screw it up. :( let's hope it'll be good luh. jiayoussssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

to those who have no more papers: GOOD LUH! enjoy your holidays please! ((:

to those who still have papers: ALL THE BEST OKAY! ((:

andandand! GUESS WHAT?

it's FOUR more days to otc! :D

('',) says:
i love you for always giving people the benefit of the doubt and trusting people despite getting repeatedly hurt

i love you too. thanks for everything. <3

it's good to have old friends. in fact, it's better to have old friends than new ones. cause they are the ones who will believe you at the end of the day when no one does; simply because they know you right from the beginning and they understand the kind of person you are.

2007-12-11T10:23:00.000+08:00

economics was .. okay. no further elaborations, if not i will get whacked.

i think the more worrying subjects would be organisational behaviour and marketing fundamentals. =.= so many things to memorise. i'm not gonna bother with it. shall do it when i wake up tomorrow. no mood anyway.

hmm, any one got nice/touching videos for me to add to my mp4? i've been racking my brains to find any! x(

anyway. know what. my brother's number of messages for the month of november is 4016. and he's only a twelve year old. =.=

ob soon.......... jiayous. x(

2007-12-09T11:03:00.000+08:00

happy birthday gen! (:
hope you enjoyed your day yeah? even though there's mid-semester test tomorrow .. hahah. hmm, thanks for being such a friend in my life yeah? appreciate your presence! (: take cares! -hugs. loves.

watched hitman. i thought it was quite interesting! i don't watch much of this kind of show, so i guess it was up to my expectations. hahah. except for some .. really unnecessary naked scenes. =.= ..

hmm, alot of people keep asking me if i'm bisexual/homosexual these days. =.= do i really behave like one? hahah, okay, maybe i do. but .. they say most girls are bisexual! so don't be shocked okay! hahah. because of the existance of really lousy guys .. can't help luh. hahah.

it just sucks when you feel that you've given your best to that person, only to find out at the end of the day that the person doesn't care at all.

addiction to this song! i think it says a lot. (:

my heart says we've got something real

can i trust the way i feel

cause my heart's been fooled before

am i just seeing what i want to see

or is it true

could you really be

someone to have and hold

with all my heart and soul

i need to know

before i fall in love

someone who'll stay around

through all my ups and downs

please tell me now

before i fall in love

i'm at the point of no return

so afraid of getting burn

but i want to take a chance

oh please

give me a reason to believe

say you're the one

that you'll always be

someone to have and hold

with all my heart and soul

i need to know

before i fall in love

someone who'll stay around

through all my ups and downs

please tell me now

before i fall in love

it's been so hard for me

to give my heart away

but i would give my everything

just to hear you say

someone to have and hold

with all my heart and soul

i need to know

before i fall in love

someone who'll stay around

through all my ups and downs

please tell me now

before i fall in love

hmm, i wanna thank maybelle! for being so nice, brave and everything. it's so nice to have you want to clear up everything. really sweet of you. (: thanks for believing too! (:

okay. take care! once again, all the best for your mid-semester tests! :D
<3

2007-12-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

statistics tutorial! i got back my statistics paper le. x) i got 23/25! happy happy please! i mean, considering i've missed like two tutorials and that lecture which the paper was testing on, it's quite good results! -beams.

went to the lounge after that. hmm, i think this saturday will be out with claudine and friends to study. x)

went to watch movie! golden compass with maybelin, caleb, tom, iris and angela! though they say the show's anti-christ, etc, but i still think it's pretty nice! interesting. :D

i wanna watch stardust and enchanted! omg. x(

i learnt how to complete the rubik's cube halfway already! :D i think tom is a good teacher. yup!

i'm eating my third bowl of laksa in my whole entire life now! and my grandma bought coconut for me.

so basically, lyn is a happy girl today! :D

2007-12-06T01:19:00.000+08:00

it was so hard trying to face the world with a smile on your face

when your heart feels so heavy.

wednesday`s sucks. :( i have three tutorials @ one go. and it's very taxing on me, especially when i don't get sufficient sleep! >.< but okay lah. hahah.

sociology class test was .. okay. mrs ann marie said it's the easiest paper of the lot, but i beg to differ. :( i took some time to remember what theory was under which topic. too many theories. x_x

i slept a bit in accountings tutorial. i think the teacher was aiming me le; she kept looking over. ahh, and last week she just praised me for being a good class rep. :(

mr philip siow was nice. (: he finished tutorial in less than an hour! we had a little project discussion, like we always do after each tutorial. so sweet. he said cause of me! hahah. cause before class started, i asked him if he could end class earlier. =x cause i was really tired! hahah. nice nice!

went lounge after school ended. hmm, stayed till 1930 for meeting! meeting was a lot shorter than i expected.

thanks waihong for the jacket and the lappy! :D super super appreciate it!

to you. i guess you've probably read my blog, and know that i'm referring to you already. but .. i didn't expect this reaction from you. i thought you would at least have the decency to explain to me what happened and everything else. but it doesn't seem so. feels like our friendship never meant much from the start.. quite .. disappointing.

something happened at home today. shock filled me. i don't know what to say. but if you're reading this, i just want to say i think you shouldn't have done that. can you start behaving like your age? sigh.

but thank God for nice nice friends. -beams.
<3

2007-12-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to say anymore, but probably all these were my fault to begin with. i'm sorry. but maybe this period of time will be best for us to think things through carefully. i'm sorry for not knowing how to prioritize my life properly. sorry for all the hurt i've caused. i'm just .. in a period of transition. two months isn't very long, but i'll try. although i hope that .. no matter what the ending is, you'll always be my good friend. i know i shouldn't expect so much from you .. i'm sorry. wan.an
你的爱早已经不同

i had a really boring statistics lecture today. x_x macroeconomics lecture was still okay. yup. met grace and yanpeng after that. hmm.. glad that you found your stuff. (:

saw erbert, tim and his girlfriend also! erbert looks .. fitter now! hahah, in comparison to when he just came back from australia .. hahah. yeahh.

i ate lamb shoulders again! yesterday i ate two plates you know! x) actually, i didn't feel hungry just now. but it's like .. i've been eating from salad bar (name of the stall) everyday, that i feel so weird not eating there for just one day! hahah, and the lamb shoulders is nice okay! :D

and.
i feel really fat today. ahh, sucks. and it's not just that. i feel my esteem going down by the day. and the feeling is just awful. :(

i still remember back then i felt so inferior of myself in everything i do .. and it was one guy who saved me; jeffrey. frankly speaking, he didn't do much at all. like, really nothing at all. but it was just this feeling i get when i'm around him. made me feel .. better of myself. and although after that, i still felt like i wasn't good enough. at least i was able to carry myself more confidently. but now .. it all feels like an act.

ohwells. sociology class test tomorrow, 10%. sucks, i haven't studiedd. :(

andand. thanks tom for lending me your laptop. (:

to caleb, if he actually reads it. hmm, saw that you were really tired. rest more please! and take care. (:

to adrian and shaz. thanks for being with me these days. (: really super duper appreciate it! hahah, and thanks for tolerating me as well. (: i'm glad you two accepted me for the way i am!

to the person who loves fullstops. thanks for being such a loyal friend. i know that i can always count on you to be there for me when i'm sad. (:

to sean teo, if he read this. thanks for your help. (: and thanks for being a friend! hahah, used to be scared of you. but now i think you're actually quite friendly and nice. ((:

lastly, but not the least, grace. thanks for being there for me, even though you had your own issues. really appreciate it. (: it's so amazing to me sometimes. it's like, we've reached a stage where we don't need to communicate often to understand each other, to know in our hearts that we'll be there for each other. we can don't talk often, but we always know that we'll be there to catch each other when we fall. it's just so amazing to me .. thanks for the friendship. (:

okays. i like my MP4 alot. (: and i want the song "why" in my mp4! ahhh, YVONNE! x(

take care people. halfway through the week already. (:

loves.

2007-12-03T19:38:00.000+08:00

CONTINUATION OF THE 5 Cs!
hahah, this time is not the 5 Bs, 5 As or whatever. it's again, 5 Cs, but known as the 5 small Cs. hahah.

Cohesiveness
Cooperation
Commitment
Care
Concern

OB lecture! x) hahah, school is such a learning place to be in. hahah.

boo, after buying my MP4, i'm more broke now. totally sucks since christmas is coming up. :( -smacks.

i forgot to write about this quote i saw during my duty period for standard chartered.
"pain fades, dreams last."
i think it's quite commonly used right? but it's my first time seeing this, and i think it's so inspirational. (:

shaz sucks at tic-tac-toe! hahah. i owned him, totally. =p

the following video is this song yvonne introduced me. i think it's super .. touching. but it's christ-based. so .. don't view it if you don't want to right? for those viewing, please don't read the whole lyrics yet. follow the music, and proceed on word-by-word. it's really .. nice. (:

We rode into town the other day
just me and my Daddy
He said i finally reached that age
and i could ride next to Him on a horse
that of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
and so We stopped to find out why
and there was that Man that my Dad said He loved
but today there was fear in His eyes

so i said Daddy, why are they screaming?
why are the faces of some of them beaming?
why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
i'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy please, can't you do something?
He looks as though he's gonna cry
You said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy please tell me why
why does everyone want Him to die

later that day the sky grew cloudy
and Daddy said i should go inside
somehow He knew things would get stormy
boy was He right
but i could not keep from wondering
if there was something He had to hide

so after He left, i had to find out
i was not afraid of getting lost
so i followed the crowd
to a hill where i knew men had been killed
and i heard a voice come from a cross

and it said:
Father, why are they screaming?

why are the faces of some of them beaming?

why are they casting their lots for my robe?

this crown of thorn hurts Me more than it shows

Father please can You do something?

I know that You must hear My cry

I thought I could handle the cross of this size

Father remind Me why

why does everyone want Me to die?

when will I understand why?

My precious Son, I hear them screaming

I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming

but soon I will clothe You in robes of My own

Jesus this hurts Me much more than You know

but this dark hour, I must do nothing

though I heard Your unbearable cry

the power in Your blood destroys all the lies

soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes

look there below see the child trembling by her father's side

now I can tell You why

she is why You must die

it's really nice. just like how grace puts it: "really pulls the strings of your heart." (:

and to whoever you are:
frankly speaking, i've found out who you are, and i'm pretty sure. i don't know what to say but that i'm disappointed. and i just don't understand why there is a need for you to do that in the first place. and i really don't see any justification in any perspective. i've read the chatlogs over and over again. and i just can't convince myself of any reasons that might help you.
i might just turn nasty if i continue, so forget it. i don't know how to face you anymore.

but don't worry, i won't hate you. i've never did. if Jesus can forgive those who hurt him that badly, what is my pain in comparison to him? but that's not the point. the point is, i've lost a good friend.

thanks grace, giddy, shaz, adrian and glenn. totally <3 please.

2007-12-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

happy belated birthday ivan! =P

hahahahah, ivan is just adorable. anyway, ivan's got a special talent! he can twist his legs/ankles/whatever very flexibly! and he's friendly and nice. ((:

i had Mr Philip Siow as my lecturer for my previous marketing fundamentals lecture, and he was just so entertaining, like always. so he told us a story about his friend, lee kim sai. (kim = gold in hokkien. sai = shit in hokkien.) and this guy, works in a sewage business. and when people ask him where he works at, he has four levels of answer. (in his ever-so-straight face)

level 1
person A: so, where do you do for your living?
lee kim sai: business.

level 2
person A: ohh. so what kind of business?
lee kim sai: government business.

level 3
person A: O_O what kind of government business?
lee kim sai: *looks around* *whispers* personal business.

level 4
person A: *irritated* what kind of personal business?
lee kim sai: your business, is my business.

-roars in laughter-
that was my immediate response. okay, maybe it doesn't sound funny here. but really, you should hear philip siow! it was funny okay!

okay, i wanna personally thank james, for being such a nice friend.

after not seeing me for quite some time, guess what was his first sentence to me?
"you look more and more like a hamster."

WAH, thanks ah! like i needed it. booooo!

okay, it's been more than 24 hours since i last slept. standard chartered marathon was in a way, fun. but in other ways, not.

i've always thought leadership is all about taking initiative, giving in, and putting others first. but it feels like i've thought so wrong. should we only show that we can lead when we know that others will notice? there wasn't very .. correct/positive attitudes today. maybe we were just so tired. and i saw a lot of stuff with my own eyes. at the same time, i lost the respect i have for a number of people.

it's not directed at anyone in specific. but if you think it does, then maybe you can afford to do a bit of self-reflection.

i'm not saying i'm perfect. i'm just stating my point of view. so don't start a riot because of that aight? but my point is:

i gave my best today. do you feel that you did?

on a happier note, i bought a MP4 today! omg, i'm super happy please!

chio right?! :D hakim and maybelin bought one each for themselves as well! hahah, pretty pretty! thanks maybelin for helping me pay first! (:

day out with jason, hakim and maybelin after that was great. (: i think i got to see some different sides of people, and i'm glad that now i know them more. (:

check out "korens". maybelin cried after hearing their story. it's sad. but she's going on a mission trip next year! so cool, but super dangerous.

some pictures i took with amos, when he was trying to tidy up his hair on his macbook. hahah.

takecare! <3

2007-12-01T17:20:00.000+08:00

happy belated birthday yuting!
andddddd!
happy birthday adrian!

:DD

hope yuting enjoyed her day. (:
and adrian, i hope you did also. (:

and so, i have standard chartered marathon later @ 3am. x_x the thought of it tires me out. hope everything will go well later. (:

i'm feel so sian-ed now. so blog again.
enjoy your weekend people! :D

EDITED

i like bianca ryan alot. so much so to the extent that when i read that people feel that charice pempengco is better than her, i get soo upset. and i really wonder why people feel that the latter is better! hahah, maybe i'm just biased.

but, seriously, to me, she's so captivating; extremely charismatic for someone of her age. everytime i watch her audition clip, i'll start getting goosebumps. she's that good. (:

2007-11-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

glenn sent me home in his car, along with john, tom and amanda. super duper nice of him! THANKYOU! -smilesbigbig!

anyway, i tell you! you won't believe. i won this super pro @ pool 2 rounds consecutively! -beams. so proud of myself i tell you! hahahah. though there were a lot of .. tyco-ness lahhhhhh. but but! the point should be i won right?! :D

kahyuen, thanks for everything. (:

statistics assignment today was okay. but .. i think i'll get about 20/25 only. damn sad. another 5% wasted. x( you know, for my statistics, my final year examination is 65% worth. walaoo. damn scary. :(

anyway! i'm damn happy. :D cause hor! my sociology online quiz is only due in january. initially i thought it was due this sunday luhhh. but damn happy! i don't have to do it yet! cause i haven't bought the textbook. x)) hehe.

and! benchow is super nice! he actually remembers about my marketingfundamentals paper thing. -smiles. thankyou!

18 more days to OTC! :D

EDITED

OH YAH. how can i forget! i met two really .. ______ people in the lounge today. seriously, i don't understand how they can be so stingy, petty, and whatever. for goodness' sake, for $1, you want to make the whole world hate you. is there any point?!

boo. bullies.

2007-11-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

school is stressed now. blame it on myself for missing so many lectures and tutorials. i don't quite get what's going on in school anymore. plus, mid-semester tests are already around the corner. boo. x(

jiayou lynette!

anyway, i was in my sociology tutorial today. and mrs/miss ann marie said something interesting, and funny. hahah.

you know the 5 Cs? cash, condo, credit cards, club and car?
it's been replaced with 5 Bs now. hahah.
Cash - Billion dollars
Condo - Bungalow
Credit cards - who needs credit cards if you have a Billion dollars?
Club - Beach (lol, imagine owning beaches.)
Car - Bmw/Benz

hahah, quite funny the way she said it.

hmmm, i observed this trend. that whenever guys gathering together around a laptop/desktop, they'll start surfing for chiobus on friendster. what's with them ah? lol, don't get it.

recently, i've been having quite a few unknown people adding me. like, really out of nowhere. =.= maybe my friendster .. but yah, i think it'd be more polite to message me on friendster first, instead of adding me right away on msn. =/ though i seriously don't mind. just commenting. hahah. it's a good way of making friends! (: a bit freaky some times though .. just don't freak me out aight?

anyway. adrian is my best friend! :D hahah, so random.

and kahyuen, thanks for your concern. ((:

two more days till the weekends! tahannnnnnnnnnnnn! :D

2007-11-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

all i can say is, i'm sorry. really am.

what do you think it's the best for us now?

i think a lot of people very stony/stressed/emo today. so cheer up! (:

<3

2007-11-25T21:01:00.000+08:00

i have never thought of myself as someone who would only respect authority. i respect every single person i know, as far as i'm concerned.

and i treat different people differently. and if that labels me as a hypocrite, bootlicker, suck-up, or whatever, by all means.

i've treated subcomms and excos fairly; such as claudine, mark, adrian, eric, benchow, amanda, ashely, amos, isaac, and many others.

if you feel that i suddenly treat you differently, shouldn't you be wondering what happened that made me feel this way? instead of pushing everything to me getting close to ex-cos.

hitting, suaning. is something i do to everyone. excos, non-excos, whoever. pouring water? i thought it was all in the name of fun, and we both understood that. plus i have already apologised back then. why say nevermind when you actually mind and even digging it out now? i don't get you.

i'm bad at expressing myself, so i don't want to say anymore.

but maybe, just maybe, you should think of other reasons, besides this, of why i'm treating you the way i am now.

actually, i told myself to get over this already. but what really affected me was, you claim that a few others are tired of my attitude. which was really a shot in my heart.

but you know what. i shouldn't be down, no i shouldn't. there are so many others who are supporting me and believes that i am not this way. so many that it's maybe more than the few others you claim. if i were to stay this way, it's only disappointment to those who believe in me. just like how i was disappointed when you had looked at me this way. but my friends don't deserve this from me. my true friends are my motivation, and will always continue to be.

if you haven't communicate with me on a heart-to-heart basis, please don't assume anymore. get to know me, before you make your conclusion.

and that's the least you can do for anyone; give them a chance.

--- -------

i have a new blog @ livejournal. restricted to friends only. so make an account if you want to be added yeah? just ask me for the link. (:

was out with hakim today. it was fun. (: thanks for the company and vice versa! =p we shall go to the arcade again yeah!

i have learnt that we really cannot please everyone in life, no matter how hard you try. one matter, can be perceived in many ways. one bad, can kill all the good you have.

2007-11-25T02:43:00.000+08:00

you know, i really hate being accused. i hate it more than i hate insects. i swear. if there's one thing i hate in this world, is being accused of something i haven't done.

and currently, at this very moment, i feel so accused. i feel this need to justify myself on this very blog. i can type entries after entries on how unjustified i feel now, and how i feel that maybe you don't have much of a right to point fingers at me.

but i'm not going to.

i just feel so .. on the verge of breaking down. maybe this is not how i want it. i don't think i can do it. do you think i can?

thanks glenn, hakim, claudine, mark, gideon, nicholas and grace.

2007-11-24T20:50:00.001+08:00

have you ever tried putting yourself in my shoes? i really thought you would understand all these effort i've been making. it's been really tough these days, but i've been trying to be really strong; trying to stand on my own, at long last. please don't force me, especially emotional blackmails. if you think you cannot afford to trust me, then it's just so sad.

anyway, ITE Simei's 4th student council investiture was quite interesting, and maybe a little funny. hahah. we didn't stay for the reception, went straight off after that.

overall, interesting day. (:

hahah, thanks to glenn for tolerating my nonsense. boo, i think i was mean today. but he was nice lah, although he likes to bully me. :( and and! stop shouting at me okay! it's meann.

mental note: don't overstep boundaries.

after which, went dinner with my dad. nothing much. home after that.

thanks glenn, for your concern. (: so damn sweet. ^^

thanks bei. it really feels good to know that someone out there still cares about my presence. (:

thanks nicholas. for listening to my complaints and whinings. :D

and to hadi: i really don't know what i should say. i don't know if those tags were enough to explain myself. maybe it was you being oversensitive. maybe it was me carrying myself in a wrong way. but whatever it is, if you wanna hold on to what you blogged, then i guess there's really nothing i can do. sorry if i've offended you, it was unintended.

getting close to the ex-cos and seniors was never something i purposely wanted. they were just easy to talk to, easy to get along with, and fun to be with. and it was because of them, that's why i feel motivated to run. it was never the other way round. they've inspired me in a lot of ways you guys will never know; and all i want is to return them with a genuine friendship, and help when they need it.

if any of you want to substitute all these with only one word: change
then i'm speechless.

take care people. please remember i'm the same, and i'll still love you all. <3

2007-11-24T01:08:00.000+08:00

i missed out on something i should have blogged quite some time ago.

dearest, it's really belated i know. but i hope you can feel these wishes from the bottom of my heart. that was the first time i showed you direct concern; a message to wish that everything is alright for you and that i still love you. i know you've been strong, but tired out by everything of this world. but i wish that just for me, you would continue perserving, holding on. you really hold the utmost position in my heart, and i hope you can feel this love from me, even if i do not show it. please, take care. <3

please don't ask me who at all, i won't say it to a single soul. just know that this person is super duper important.

okay, anyways. i wanna apologise to mark and ciu fen, for being such an irresponsible person. really sorry. :( i was very tired, but i know that shouldn't be an excuse. and i'm very grateful for your forgiveness. ((:

so, GL briefing was okay. a bit messy here and there. but overall, it was still okay lah. (: i'm extremely excited about this event! 23 more days! :D

congrats to fion and badd, for a successful appeal attempt on being a GL! super happy for you two lah! :DD

rushed down to meet my dad, his birthday is today. was supposed to be a long night, but some stuff happened. so .. changed location. but leonard couldn't enter the place, cause he is underaged. so i accompanied him home. (: dad had a really nice birthday cake though! $200. wow. but really really unique. (: dad promised me that for my birthday! -beams!

to you: i'm really super happy for you that you got back your stuff. (:

mental note:
maybe i shouldn't expect the same behaviour from everyone. i should learn to accept people's differences, and that their reactions might not be positive afterall.

sigh, i was a bit .. shaken. maybe it was because i was overly-sensitive. maybe it was because i expected better. maybe it was because you were too sharp with your words. but maybe it was really nothing much, and i'm making a mountain out of a molehill. bah. i hate to take stuff like these so seriously. but i can't help it; it affects me alot, little stuffs like that.
it's just sad to feel that it never mattered to you, when i'm trying so hard.

putting that aside, i am really happy these days. alot happier than back then. and it's all thanks to the people inside. from the ex-cos, to the subcomms. all my friends can see that, and i think they're really happy for me. -smiles.

to subcomms: i hope you guys don't think i'm a hypocrite or whatever, trying to suck up to the seniors. i know i appeared out of nowhere in semester 1.2, and suddenly became closer to the more senior people in SU. but .. i don't know lah. i just felt that i can relate to them better. i'm sorry if i made you feel that way okay?
emphasis: i don't mean to say it's happening now, but i just wanna reduce the chances of people feeling that way.

and a clarification to something i've been hearing.
i did not quit dance just because of SU.
please make that clear. it matters to me.

anyways. i wanna give special thanks to gideon. (: who has been trying to help me in so many areas, teaching me so many things i need to learn. and most importantly, trusting and believing in me. thankyou. ((: <3

going to some event at ite simei with claudine and a few other ex-cos. i'm excited! it's the first time for me, and i'm really hoping i can learn alot of stuff. (: thanks for giving me this opportunity. greatly appreciated. (:

i need time for myself. make personal changes, etc. so that i can be a better person. and i hope i can earn some respect for myself, because people feel that i deserve it. i don't want to be seen as someone who just wants to have fun, and play. i want to be seen as trustable, responsible, dependable and mature. please help me along the way okay? (:

once again, thanks for everything everyone. for the love you've been showering, for the concern you've been showing, for letting me know that you'll always be behind me supporting me, for understanding that i'm walking towards a certain goal and helping me. simply for everything.

<3

2007-11-22T01:45:00.000+08:00

introducing the pet of the year: sunny lim!

he lets me mess his hair. :D hahah.

anyway, what the! i just realised i never blog about me getting a new bag! AHH! how can that be?!?!!!

there you got. :D limited edition of krumpler, i think. totally <3.

a few outdated , but very much treasured photos. (:

i'll totally miss them.

but back to reality, i'm having a lot of fun these days. i even see myself being so interested in learning and changing for the better. i believe it's for my own good as well, and i'm very happy. (:

claud&me in the toilet!

i think claudine looks so cute in this picture. (:

camwhoring in lounge!

xmas tree!

he says i'm his eyecandy! hahahah. :D

today, i feel that i've made two of the most meaningful wishes in my life.
1. wish that everything will go well for tpsu.
2. wish that subcomms can love each other more and accept each others' differences.
sincerely, truly, madly, deeply. (:

to you: you've been so optimistic about the loss. (: but i hope you get your stuff back eventually. -wishes.

lastly, here i am wishing that nothing changes before, during or after elections next year. it sucks to see things turn ugly just because of these stuff. seriously no point at all. so if you think you're up to the duties of an ex-co, go ahead and run! but make sure you are responsible and committed enough. unsure? talk more to ex-cos please, before finalising your decision. (:

take care people! :D

2007-11-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

i've made my decision, finally and painstakingly. and have also told whoever is concerned. which .. wasn't as bad as i thought it would be at all. "if ya wanna come back someday jus come back for audition" was the reply i got. which is more than enough for me. (: and now, what i wanna do is to be focused on what i want to do in my 3 years of poly life. (:

to hiro, james, kevin and glenn. thank you for listening to me and advising me on this matter. all your opinions mattered a hell lot to me. (:

moving on, i love being in the student lounge these days, like really. the atmosphere and everything, just makes it feel real good. fuzzy feeling. heh.

oh! congrats to those who have been selected to be a GL! see you around for OTC! :D

on a very random note, i like yeeping and kahyuen alot. (: for some reason, i'm damn attracted to the two of them. maybe cause i'm a bit on the crooked side .. HAHAH. but yup! i think they're damn nice! ^^

lastly, to hadi.
thanks for those words of encouragement. i really super duper appreciate it; it was like the word in season. i don't know how to say it, but it seriously helped in a lot of ways, especially in boosting my self-esteem. thankyou. (:

take care people! come lounge more often! HAHAH.
<3

2007-11-18T00:37:00.000+08:00

INTRODUCING TO YOU ALL MY OFFICIAL SCANDAL #1: HAKIM! :DD

hehe. so cute hor? xD i am his only scandal! and i feel so honoured! :D hahahaha!

went to watch the competition: butts off.
was okay, not bad. (:

to my eyecandy: don't worry kay. you all did your best! ^^

i am no good at making decisions when it comes to my own life. but now, i have to choose a path, and .. i think i have chosen. this time, i want to live it to the best and never regret the path i've chosen to walk! my dear friends, give me support okay? i need it. thanks.

love you guys totally! <3

2007-11-17T03:02:00.000+08:00

i am supposed to be asleep now, but being ever-so-stupid, i ended up washing my hair when i'm supposed to just take a quick bath. so nevermind, i shall blog while waiting for my hair to dry.

i just wanna say i had a great past two days; the craziest days after so long. and i really really treasure those moments! (: there are many who really made my day!

hakim
my new found scandal! :D heh, thanks for everythingggg! really super duper appreciate it and enjoy your company! you owe me a date, remember hor! :D

glenn
thanks for everything! like, trying to entertain me when you are pretty much busy yourself, learning those dance steps so seriously, even though you know you really can't do it, etc etc etc. super duper enjoyed your company and thanks for all those patience! ((:

claudine
wooh! my sexylove! :D thanks for everything sia! your company etc. appreciated everything today! :D

isaac
boooo! thankyouuuuuuu my new friend. :D heh, you're so fun to be with. thanks for all the company! ^^

amos
ahaha, you suck! xD no lahhh, thanks for all the crappiness, etc. you really made everything more fun. (: new new friend! :D

tom
for letting me draw on your hand! haha, thanks for your kind patience and not-so-kind treatment. =p

john
i don't really know what to say, but i feel alot of gratitude towards you. ((: thanks!

those guys from st.gabs
thanks man! seriously, you guys were so fun to be with. (: thanks for entertaining my nonsense. hahahh, and i'm glad you guys didn't find it irritating. (:

so far, that's all i can remember. will update again! bed now. :D

2007-11-15T00:41:00.002+08:00

nothing exactly bad happened today. just that i simply weren't in top form; i felt tired physically and drained emotionally.

but with the best of my efforts, i put on a smile and faced the world. but ..
it was really difficult.especially when it came to facing you all. i just feel so horrible about myself.
nevermind.

but really thanks to mark and meimei who made it a good day for me. (: thanks for being so sweet and everything. just those little actions make me smile. (: <3

tprawks tomorrow, or rather later. i just wish i would dare to dance. i hope that i will feel good enough about myself to dare to dance. it's a come-and-go thing, but 95% of the time, it's not there. sigh.

okay, off to bed. nights people. i love you all. <3

how useless can one feel?

2007-11-14T00:10:00.000+08:00

hmm, i don't wanna force myself to blog; it sucks to make something i enjoy doing an obligation. so yup, will update when i don't get so drained out physically. (: and maybe when people like james and kevin stop suaning me so much. x_x bullies.

i really don't like my timetable. 9am everyday is killing me. i think i'll shift all my 9am lectures somewhere else. =.= .. and i've been missing alot of my lectures. there goes my gpa lah.

i'll marry whoever can make me less tired. sigh.

take cares people! <3 and because i love you guys so much. here's a picture of me. xD

heh. my favourite picture currently. oops, not being self-obsessed.

loves!

2007-11-11T23:28:00.000+08:00

steph, mel, kev, jj, mer and my two brothers were totally <3 today! (: and i had fun today! -smilesbigbig.

was supposed to go iceskating. but by the time we reached there, it was already two. and their rink closes at 1530. =.= soooooo! we went to kbox instead! :D was just so much fun inside! but no photos. :(

hehe. we can have this once every fortnight! so fun! :D

special special thanks to my youngest brother for carrying my skates for me today. really super duper appreciate it. ((: !

but the sad thing is.. tomorrow is a monday already. :(( sigh.

i'm pretty packed this week. but i cannot even remember what i have on whatever days. i know there's a briefing for me to attend on tuesday. after which, there is dance training. tprawks-dance for me on thursday. and tpsu-ccn day on friday.

and i promised meimei and jack (i think) that i'd go out with them this week. and somewhere this week, i got to meet my socio groupmates to watch a movie with them. i think the wiser choice now would be to ask them to watch at their own time. x_x

boo. packed weeks are fun, but tiring and draining. what makes it worse is that i seem to be forgetting alot of stuff here and there. i know i've jotted it down somewhere, but i don't know where. bleh ..

but whatever it is, take care everyone. weather's been bad these days. sleep early, and drink more water. it'll make your immune system stronger.

and specially to you, i wish you could at least give me some response instead of just ignoring our messages. please take care and get back to me as soon as possible yeah? better still if i can meet you tomorrow.. -hugs. take cares please.

<3lyn.

2007-11-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

talk about being responsible. har.

i don't want to elaborate, and i don't wanna rub it in. but next time, at least be responsible enough to inform me before i ask.

crap. another time. i don't wanna ask people go ice-skating in future already. =.=

2007-11-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

i know i'm damn slow. but that isn't gonna stop me from saying it.

i'm so damn amazed by bianca ryan. omggggggggg.

okay, if you're slower than me, it's okay. hahaaha. bianca ryan is the winner of america's got talent season 1. omg. she sings really well and knows how to carry herself on stage. totally wow.

check her out man! that's her audition clip. (:

but i think she did better in her recording though. (:

2007-11-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO! :D

i just got to share this! make sure you hear the whole thing!

heard that?!?!?!?!?!! and it's live for goodness' sake. so scary. hahaha. and she's from CHINA! okay lah, not trying to be prejudiced or whatever. but, quite amazing sia, for a china girl. hahaha. damn impressed!

next up will be photos! camwhoring on kevin's laptop as usual. x)

loves of the day! (:

jj don't want take picture with lynette. :( but i'm posting it anyway! i look cute! HAHAHA.

hehe. so cute hor! :D

selfobsession! x)

lastly, favourite picture of the day! :D

actually i got a lot of other photos. but if i were to upload all of them here, i think your computer will hang. or you will stop reading my blog. hahaha. so forget it. :D

heh. actually i got a few more stuff i haven't updated. actually i forgot about it lah. =x

this is the super cute shoes hiro got for me! :D thankyouuu! ^^

see this? it's done by this guy called larry hoo. and he still dare pose for me when i said i'm gonna blog this up.

there you go! larry hoo. idiottt. haha.

and lastly, i was in lecture a few days back. and .. there was something wrong with the clock lah. =.=

so according to this clock, seems like we've been inside lecture for almost 24 hours. x_x lol, but was damn stupid.

yupp. that's all. happy deepavali! :D

2007-11-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

i reached home not very long ago; cabbed with hakim. took a bath and here i am blogging. i feel so much that i need to blog.

today i attended tpsu's ex-cos monthly meeting. to all sub-comms, if you didn't know, it's actually open for us to go and sit in as observants. (i just knew it today also.) it was draggy, but not boring. in fact, there was quite a bit of laughter. (:

hmm, did a small presentation on the subcomm gathering event that hadi, xiao ming and me are planning. i think it was good experience. but of course i was a bit scared and nervous .. and i'm usually quite embarrassed when it comes to such stuff. but i will overcome it! i just need a little more confidence in myself and the things i do and i'll be just fine. (:

attending this meeting .. has moved me a lot in many ways. but also made me think of what i really want in my poly life. life's full of choices, and we've got to make them anyways. yupp.

thanks to hakim for lending me your jacket. (: heh.

and yah! thanks to kim jian for actually remembering to buy me something! so sweet. (:

my whole mind is revolving around tpsu at the moment. haha, i feel so responsible. i'm sending a long long email to hadi and xiao ming to remind them of everything about our plans. :DD and the email is damn long. i don't think i've ever typed such a long email. haha.

okay. brain cells dead. goodbye! (:

2007-11-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

i can see your face everywhere i look
but everywhere is nowhere without you
what seemed to be like days
was just a moment in time
but it meant the world to me
cause i knew

what i’ve been searching for all of my life
i had it right here - in front of my eyes
and what i’ve wished for was nothing compared
to what i received - when you were here with me

and if you’ll never come back
and today was all that we had
and if i won’t see tomorrow with you in my arms
it won’t matter because
now i know what it’s like to be loved

you’re so far away but i feel you so near
it’s like you never left me - never said good bye
i can hear your voice in the crowd
i can feel you touch me right now
i can see you smile when i close my eyes

and i hold on to that every night
to help me understand - when i ask myself why
of all the people out there - you chose to be with me
to share a love so rare

and if you’ll never come back
and today was all that we had
and if i won’t see tomorrow with you in my arms
it won’t matter because
now I know what it’s like to be loved

what a beautiful thing - to feel your love within
like a child that sees the sunshine on the first day of spring
just to know it’s true - there is someone like you
who can make me believe there is nothing i can’t do

if you’ll never come back
and today was all that we had
and if i won’t see tomorrow with you in my arms
it won’t matter because
now I know what it’s like to be loved
to be loved

dedicatd to my beloved friend; you.
it always feels better to be able to relate to a song, and i hope this does the job. crying will make you feel better. just cry it all out. you know i'll be here. -hugs.

thanks to lisheng for introducing the song. (:

--- -------

went to watch the game plan today with hiro. very funny, cute and touching. (: to me, it's worth watching. so go watch it if you haven't! (:

i want to watch so many other shows! hmm, like stardust, bee movie, the golden compass, enchanted and mr. magorium's wonder emporium. hahahaha. :D

nowadays i think i abit weird, have been getting alot of 'first time'. like the first pink dolphin drink i bought a few days back, first box of hei bai pei i bought yesterday and first cream puff from beard papa. hmm ..

and hiro bought me a lot of stuff from malaysia. heh, thanks! :D so cutee. i upload the pictures another time. ^^

take care people. <3

2007-11-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

today .. was just a bad day for me. i think it's one of the worst i've ever had. i feel so drained; physically, emotionally and mentally.

it started off really bad, with kenneth fong as my macroeconomics teacher. i will agree it's our fault to talk during class in the first place, but what's with his long speeches and stuff? =.= ..
and i'm intending to have a really peaceful class, and not have any disputes or backstabbing among us. so .. if any of you guys are offended by the event today, please just forgive and forget okay? i think none of us meant harm. cheers. (:

i don't know what to say and i don't really know how to be myself in front of you again. it's like .. i feel so cheated. or is it just me over-reacting? i don't know. i feel like the bad person now, and i really hate feeling that way. or maybe i just won't do anything about it. care less, they say. maybe then i won't be feeling this horrible now.

thanks james for keeping me company. (: even thought you zhao-ed to kaiwen in the end .. haha. and thanks to tpsu subcomms for all those laughters in the lounge. (:

hmm, i've been entrusted with the task of organizing a subcomm gathering for tpsu, along with hadi and xiao ming. so hopefully i leave them with a positive impression of myself. (:

details will be up at a later date, but it should be held at about late november? (:

thanks junhui and ciu fen for helping me print the notes, and jashawn for lending me your correction tape, etc. (:

i didn't go for sociology lecture in the end. talked alot to grace though, which i believe is more fruitful than going for that lecture. hahaha.

thanks girl, for trying to listen even though you're facing so many stuff yourself. you know, i'm just so lost by myself and i can't make decisions. so really, thanks for hearing all my rantings. (: please know that i'll always always be here for you. take cares. friends forever. <3

oh, also thanks kev for the laptop. (: thanks for being able to trust me with your $2700 laptop. =p heh. appreciated! (:

i love the corn flakes thing @ a1. and i miss the mango smoothie @ the crepes place. boooo. soon soon!

so i sent grace home. and i started getting this splitting headache. nevermind .. went to the bus stop, and missed my bus number 30. waiting for another 40 minutes before the next 30 came. and to make you feel worse, two of bus 30 came together. =.=

and it's like you're not drained out by everything enough. on bus 225, out of nowhere a bee appeared right in front of me. .. =.=

nevermind .. reached my floor, and i saw a grasshopper/cricket? wah, what the hell i tell you.

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT! OMG! i hate insects!! truly, madly, deeply!

and to you. i miss you. i miss all those times we spent just chatting about our lives. i really appreciated all the little thoughts and efforts from you in the past, and wish that everything is still the same now. i wish you had more time for me. i wish i am still that little sister in your heart, one whom you've showered so much love and concern on. am i still..? maybe it's just me being too egoistic, but i just wanna feel that you still want me in your life, not just the other way round..
misses.

i have dance tomorrow at night. and meeting with tpsu's ex-cos on wednesday. hope everything goes fine. (:

my wrist hurt like mad today.

thoughts for today:

you've been all my confidence. i feel like i'm nothing good enough in front of everyone; everyone but you ..

all those have become used-to-be`s and nothing more. there will be no one there for me like you always do anymore.

it sucks when you get too fair; when you treat me just like anyone else ..

EDITED

thanks to eyecandy for cheering me up! (: who has such nice eyecandies man .. -fortunate me- ((:

and yah! thanks to meimei! for that sweet message. (: really thoughtful of you. (:

2007-11-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

i feel so horrible about myself.
i've never thought i was this mean.
maybe cause i've been praised all the time, that's why i can't take this criticism now.
sigh, makes me feel really horrible about myself.
..

2007-11-04T15:03:00.000+08:00

HELLO! :D

this entry will be a super self-obsessed entry, so if you know it will result in you thinking that i think i'm oh-so-great/cute or anything, then just click on the "x" at the top right hand corner of your window.

you've been warned. (:

HAHAHA. I WAS TALKING TO MY EYECANDY!!

all those hypocrisy. says:
hehe. so will you be my boyfriend ?
all those hypocrisy. says:
LOL.
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
wahaha
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
welll..... hmmm.. i MIGHT consider..
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
haha

HAHAHA. but that's NOT the main point! :D

~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
haiyah.. u oso cuTe wad
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
haha
all those hypocrisy. says:
HAHA. you cuterrrr !!
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
at least the cuTest girl in tpde lar
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
haha
all those hypocrisy. says:
WAH. really ah ? x)
all those hypocrisy. says:
-feels so complimented-
all those hypocrisy. says:
HAHAHA.
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
haha
~* F.A.D.Z *~ For you Ill make a song ~+ messofmylife.blogspot.com *~ says:
yahhhhh. haha

LOL! :D

you'll feel as happy as me if your eye candy said that to you. :DD

NEVERMIND! you all don't think i cute but my eye candy does.

HAHAAHA. okay, but my head won't swell i promise. (:

just damn happy! my eye candy leh!

heh. :DD

(please do not start rumoring that i think i'm damn cute or whatever. please please please. thankyou.(: )

2007-11-04T01:22:00.001+08:00

maybe i've been too sensitive. it's the third person already. but still, they say they're okay with me. (: and that makes me really happy! because i have one less person who doesn't like me. it really makes my day! -smilesbigbig.

but as for you .. i don't know how to say.

i feel that one person should try to build up a friendship with one person, before building another one. erm, crap. that's not what i mean, but .. it's somewhere along that line. it's not nice to make people feel that your friendship with another person is more important than with him/her.

i don't know. don't make me start doubting you okay? if you think it's referring to you, then maybe it is because you are guilty of not appreciating your friendships. so start appreciating them! (:

--- -------

i just don't understand. why one can be so hypocrite. i really see no need to be so. it just makes everyone not like you at the end of the day. so, what's the point?

i don't know. i really thought you were damn nice, till everything started happening. can you prove me with actions that what i'm seeing and hearing ain't true?

i treasure my friendship with you. but it really doesn't seem like you do. it hurts when you seem happier with other people instead of me. maybe i'm just over-sensitive, but i just think it's damn sad. it feels so .. one sided of me.

what should i do now?

--- -------

i feel really horrible about myself.

i feel so horrible that i think i should just be isolated on an island to die a friendless person. i feel like i'm not good enough and don't deserve to be anyone's friend.

it sucks. it's like everything is taking a toll on you all at one go. and yet you can't share with anyone, and you've got to pretend like everything's alright.

why does it rain here in my heart.

2007-10-31T16:45:00.000+08:00

so sorry for the lack of updates. :( booo. not exactly busy lah, but i feel that the stuff i normally blog don't seem important, that's why i don't update. hahaha. ohwells. (:

hmm, let's talk about .. wednesday!
performance was fun! ((: erm .. but .. maybe the one before isn't .. LOL. shan't elaborate, just plain boringly funny. loll.

and did i mention wan ting is damn freaking hot when she does this particular move. ohmygosh, totally hot! and and! OMG, she did it with me. cause it was couple work, so .. OMG, SO HOT! :DD so hot so hot!

thursday .. nothing much. just hanged out in school etc etc. heh.

friday! went to queue for donuts with mark and jason. ((: i bought half a dozen for myself! grandma wants to try all the flavours i think .. shall go queue and buy one dozen for her one day. ((:

today (saturday) supposedly had dance class. but gin never come. :( so we did some physical training, and the seniors taught us the routine for tprawks. quite fun! (:

then after that we went to far east plaza to watch the anti-smoking dance campaign - butts off. i'll have to say mervin's and fadz's group did damn well! (same group) omg, i was like O_O. i don't know about the rest, but i really loved the whole thing. and i felt so much like i wanna dance with them. :D

AND AND! fadz is my new eyecandy! omg! so damn cute!
i'll post his picture up on the next entry! so you girls can oogle at him! cause fion not online yet. heh. wah, damn cute!

anyway, i thought this semester would suck. cause of the many many boring subjects. buttttt! my tutors are so interesting. :D heh. i never thought i would get good tutors. lol. lucky me. :D

okay lah, i quite mind blank actually.
so take care! (:

now all i can do is to pray hard and wish that time would pass faster. so that i know what i fear really won't happen.
i've never felt so horrible of myself in front of people whom i thought understood me.
it's just all those smiles and laughter. but at the end of the day, you know it's nothing but a mask. it's nothing that you'll need to fill the spaces in your heart.

2007-10-31T01:09:00.000+08:00

it's performance for tp arts festival, finally, in less than 12 hours. feels pretty exciting. (: heh, hope we do well. and i know we will. (: gambetteeeeee! :D

hmm, i think it's always important to feel important and belonged to your group of friends, also known as clique. yeah, if you don't, then there's no point in dwelling there because whether or not you're there, it does not make any difference. so, find your own clique yah? don't just go with the flow, and stay just because you have no choice or whatever. it's important to feel belonged and needed. (:

i love my friends, especially you all. (: <3

to you: sorry if you feel that i've neglected you .. but yah, i'm sorry kay. i'm really abit too busy these days, and .. maybe it's just me being selfish. sorry yah? <3

next,photos as promised!

gen and me! (:

oh, you know this picture? we took super long before we took it. this stupid gen was laughing nonstop at my stupid looking face then she can't even pose properly for a picture. hahahaha.

supposed to be a picture including only huijing, fion and me. but apparently, mervin (the big head) and james chap ji ka. damn nonsense please. hahahaa.

yup, finally took it. (: me, fion and huijing. (left to right)

the following picture is this guy who's supposedly the hottest guy in tpde. hahahahaha.

damn hot right?!?!! hahahahaha. no lah, mutated face only. x) he's got a WOOHOO body!

hehe, and that's me with the WOOHOO guy! xD

HEHE. too bad! he's taken. =x

fion and me! (:

she says that i look like a puppy. do i really look like one? it's not the first time someone says i look like one! rawrrr!

so cute right? :D

mervin and me! :D

hehe! finally, my beloved kevin and me! :D

huijing and me. ((:

junji! the guy who doesn't want to let me hook his arm. xD hahahah.

my best friend, grace. :DD

group picture! :D

top(left-right): melisa, fion, yanti, martin
bottom(left-right): gen, me, nic tan

AND YES! THAT'S NIC TAN! THE FUNNY FUNNY GUY! HAHAHHAHAHAHA.
he rocks! i like him! :DD

and the last picture of the day, would of course be ..

ME! hahahaha. i remembered nic tan and someone said it's nice. hahaha, so i'm just posting it. (:

hmm, i want to have a new template! an even more simple and plainer template! anyone wants to offer their help to this poor cute little girl here? HAHA. kidding kidding! but i'm serious about the template. help me if possible aight? (:

boo, it's so tedious posting pictures. so even if you don't like it, just patronize me a bit lah okay? hehe. just pretend you love the pictures! haahahaha. xD

okays, i'll end off with a quote i found very meaningful. heard it during my interesting OB lecture. :D

there is nothing wrong to fail, but you must never give up.

it's so simple, yet says so much. (:

hey you! yes you! read that quote and remember it okay! have more confidence in yourself! (: ni ke yi de! (:

heh. with this comes the end of another entry. my hand is already tired from all those typing. booo. i like the feeling of finishing one entry though. BUT! that is inclusive if you guys enjoy reading okay. if not, really no point. i might as well save the pictures for myself and don't post them. so yah, TAG IF YOU LIKE IT! if not i won't blog. =x

HAHA. just tag kay! got read just tag. just let me know. (:

<3lyn.
(omg, i took 1 hour to complete this entry.)

EDITED

omg, you guys are damn mean. ask you to tag also so difficult! x(

2007-10-28T22:22:00.001+08:00

@#$@#$&()@&$$
i feel damn broke. crap lah. i feel abc xyz when i'm so broke. :(

and i tell you! damn irritated! i reached home and the first thing i saw was this damn weird looking insect that freaked me out totally. walao, which explains why i'm on my laptop now. sucks i tell you. i really hate insects. next time when i get married, i'll have an insect-free house. i don't care. i'll hire 10 maids if i have to. just NO insects! x((

by the way, this post will be super random. cause i've got a lot of stuff i wanna say. but it didn't all happen on the same day. so .. yup!

i didn't get through the interview with tpsu for tprawks. x( a bit saddening .. but ohwells. i got chosen to help tpde for tprawks! :D

but i really thought i wouldn't get chosen. =.= cause .. i don't know. i don't feel like i've created a positive impression in dance. =/ but anyways, it's good! :D

i miss singing. :(( i want to sing. :(( where are you my voice!

junwei promised me chocolates once my voice recovers. :DD

hehe. i like receiving good night messages! it makes me feel like i'm being missed before they go to sleep. makes me feel so loved and cherished. HAHA.

and yay! someone promised me to bring me to this secret place to eat! :DD

hmm, i saw trish drinking sprite zero today. but walao, i don't like that drink. it's so gross! it taste like .. plain soda? =.= but trish says it's not fattening, etc etc. yah, and she says that explains the difference in size between me and her. =.= so mean! hahaha.

wah, crap. i feel damn irritated now. :( HOWHOWHOW! omg. i hate being in this kind of mood. :( but it's like .. i have alot of stuff to think/worry about and there're so many external factors that are irritating me. for example, the weird looking insect! omg. x(

i had OB lecture today! and i like my lecturer! she's so .. entertaining and she speaks so well! :DD plus her name is so .. sophisticated! HAHA, philomena see! i can never pronounce it until i hear amelia says it. hahahaha.

hmm, she mentioned that if you get angry and you walk away, that means you have high EQ. hehe, heard that hiro? :D boo to you. xD

and something interesting, or maybe i'm just ignorant. i heard that the recent psle maths paper has caused some 12 year olds to break down? like what the hell? how can anyone be stressed over psle? so poor thing .. it's like their parents have been torturing them or something. .. i don't know. but i don't think anyone should break down because of examinations. it just shows that .. hmm, you have really bad stress management? yeahh.

on a side note, all the best to those taking their O and A levels. (: if you need to destress, i'm always around. (:

in OB today, we also learnt that there are 3 kinds of ability, namely:
1. intellectual ability
2. physical ability
3. emotional intelligence

and they say that the last is the most important; emotional intelligence which is also known as your EQ! (:
it is not a substitute for ability, like bootlicking and stuff. yup, it's important so take note! :D

haha, and why do i say my lecturer is entertaining?

we were talking about learning. and then she started asking who drives or something.
in the end she said "we all drive - drive people up the wall." lol, damn humorous lah she.

then she asked us to describe her. she was then telling us about the earlier lecture group, supposedly the law people.
"this guy said that i am .. sexy."
*everyone laughs* (okay, she is this pretty .. meaty woman. hahaha.)
"well, he's got good taste i must say. since they are law students, you must take what they say with a pinch of salt but i believe him completely."

LOL. the whole lecture was laughing i tell you. she really made the lecture alot more interesting than it could be; i've never thought that POM/OB would ever be fun. but hey, miracles happen! :D she's soooo interesting i swear. :D

hmm, did you know that a pair of twin sisters - one black, the other white - was born to a British couple who both had mixed-race parents? don't believe? come i show you. (:

so cool right! hahaha, i also want leh. haha. but experts say the odds of such a birth are about a million to one. boo!

anyway, junji don't let me hook his arm. :( he says he's SENSITIVE. like my foot please. x(

i was on this bus with this really fierce bus driver earlier on. omg, this person parked his car along the interchange and blocked the bus' route. so he just BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP nonstop. so noisy at 12am. =.= but that guy also damn stupid. =.= ..

anyway. i was just telling some of my friends that i'm not really happy with this particular someone. well, name him A. (yes, him. always guys! rawrr. hahaa.)
so A saw me out with this guy, and he was too out with a girl. =.=
and so the next thing i knew, he went on friendster and left me a testimonial. contents of the testimonial?
"haha!! new target?? =D not bad eh! LOL!" (it's a copy&paste by the way.)
and i swear i felt so totally insulted. seriously, do i look like those kind who tries to hook up with every damn guy i know? do i really leave you all with this kind of impression? seriously, what the hell. i'm really damn not happy with this.

and if you're reading this, i've got something to say to you.
please kindly learn to respect people if you ever want people to respect you.

okay, no more angry. :D hmm, no more angry but got other negative feelings.
my back has been hurting. really damn .. ache. now as i'm typing this, i'm feeling it. i can't even .. sit with aching. ahhh, crap. :(

nevermind. hmm, i'll post up some pictures. (:

okay, nevermind. after uploading all of them, i realised there's really alotttt. so i'll save it for another time. :D heh. take cares people! <3

2007-10-28T20:16:00.000+08:00

i didn't go for gin's saturday class. x( was damn tired.

woke up at about 12plus. toshi came over to my place for steamboat. (: hehe, my grandma always buys my favourite stuff. :D

after that met james and kevin to go to makansutra for my 'interview'. i don't dare to work there though. those burning charcoal. so scary. >.<

then waited for mervin to finish work. went home. yup, that's about it. haha, kevin and james so tired but still accompany me. xiexie. (:

and i've slept through the most of today. so there's really nothing much for me to blog about.

heh. yup, takecares. (:

i'm sorry.

2007-10-26T13:38:00.001+08:00

class started @ 0900 for me yesterday. had a hard time trying to wake myself up. mummie says it's hard to wake me up these days; maybe i should sleep earlier and sleep more.

so i had marketing fundamentals lecture @ 0900. the lecturer .. was both interesting and boring. haha. but the very funny thing that happened was ..

lecturer: why did you choose tp?
*sheamson got chosen*
my class: cause my mum says so.

LOL. okay, sheamson is supposed to be this damn mummy-boy person in our class. a bit like .. clarence, if you know who. (but i like clarence more.) hahahahaha! it was quite hilarious. hahahahh.

after that i had business accountings 2 lecture. was okay .. my class had to sit on the floor due to the overflowing number of people. =.= but besides that, the lesson was pretty easy. my class was like in their own world. hahaa.

oh. nelson, martin and may are in my lecture group. (: hahahaa, can you imagine out of nowhere we shout "EH DOPE!" hahahahahaha. i think damn funny. they'll be sure to think we're freaks, or crazy people. lol.

supposed to meet james and mervin after class. but they both never come to school. =.= then i waited damn long for mervin again. james even best, totally uncontactable. lol. =.= so gen was accompanying me, and then we were camwhoring with kevin's lappie again. hahahaha. =x i think have 100over pictures there already. x)

when all of them reached, we went to pasir ris to cut hair. huijing and fion came also. (: yah, we crapped alot and stuff.

kevin's hair is nicer now. :D so is mervin's! finally willing to cut abit of his fringe. walaoooo. hahahaha.

went for dance after that. it took very long to start, due to quite a few factors. so all of us just sat around in groups to crap. at about 2100, we started performing luh. hmm, the person who watched it said it's good and that we enjoyed ourselves more than the previous round. (:

OH YAH! and i think the HIPHOP group's routine is damn nice! :D jiayou`s! you all can bring out the routine damn well, i'm certain. (:
hoorays to rahim! :D

after that, james, kevin, mervin, martin, junji, may, amelia and myself went to eat. we walked alot before finally settling down to eat. basically we just lamed around. (: hahaa.

then mark and meimei called me! so sweet; they missed me! :D hahahaha. but sorry i couldn't join you all wor.. another time kay! misses! <3

to you: please take good care of yourself and remember all the stuff i said. i meant it okay? -hugs. i love you. (:

soooooo .. super duper uber special thanks to james and kevin. (: i feel so bad for making you guys rush down just cause i was feeling scared. :( sorryyyyyyyy. but really like .. thankyou! actually it's more than just "thankyou", because words cannot describe what i'm feeling. but you get my point right! (: <33

kevin's dad sent me home. thanks kevin's dad! (:

hmm, my mummie was damn cute. she messaged me during the day:

"Mummie wan play neopet"

LOL. i seriously burst out laughing reading that message.

okay. next up pictures that i promised. :D (those camwhoring .. xD)

first up, those really weird and funny pictures. hahahaa.

me being twirled!

i permed my hair! :D

mutated kevin!

aliens!

resident evil! xD

mervin and me! siblings; the big head family! :D

next on would be pictures with beloved james and me. (:

my favourite effect! :D

and i realised there's no beloved kevin and me de photos. x( nevermind! got the THREE of us de! :D

group pictures! :D

lastly. self obsession photos. xD

favourite! :D

that's camwhoring @ esplanade for you! :D

2007-10-26T00:47:00.000+08:00

hey friends! (:
thanks for all the concern! but sorry for all the suspicions i've caused you guys to have. :( i really wasn't pinpointing at anyone when i posted the earlier entry; it was purely based on how i felt and maybe some based of past experiences. so yup, no worries yeah. (:

hmm, it gets quite .. scary though. you'd never know who reads your blog. doesn't matter to me though, i just get curious when i see my hit rates. haha.

hmm, but i feel that people should be more careful of the things they blog. i mean, i understand it's their blog but .. yeah, people do read it and we should be more mindful of how people feel. (: alot of stuff seem to be starting because of one's blog content. so yah, just be careful kay. (:

haha, i'm such a pig. i woke up at 1430 or something today? the privilege of not having school. (: but you know? i just noticed that my school starts at 9am for me everyday. :( no more late late nights. must adjust my biological clock. hahaha.

then i was talking to hiro about some stuff. i sent this song i sang lah. then i was quite .. sad. =.=

x`0uch- : FOOL. says:
anyway if u still have this voice + ur skill now
x`0uch- : FOOL. says:
this song u sing
x`0uch- : FOOL. says:
= perfect.

crap. he just has to rub it in. :( i don't think i'm ever gonna get back that voice, especially with so many camps coming up. ..

i mean, you guys should know by now, i really loveeee singing. <3 style="font-style: italic;">x`0uch- : no. says:
you know
x`0uch- : no. says:
you just give everyone the feeling like
x`0uch- : no. says:
they must teng you
x`0uch- : no. says:
its like a sin to not teng you.
i want to be remembered as that girl who always smiled. says:
why!
x`0uch- : no. says:
because you just give out
x`0uch- : no. says:
that kinda feel !
x`0uch- : no. says:
dont understand why either.

hahaha, what a lousy explanation right? but yeah, i don't understand why my close friends always so teng me. makes me feel so, wow i'm loved. hahaha. but i love the feeling luh! so who cares! :D

james is a damn sweet friend and i feel that he makes a good boyfriend! :D we were supposed to go out watch movie right? then he was afraid that i'd be cold, so he brought a jacket along. SO SWEET! :D good boyfriend. lucky kailing. haha.

that's like only one of the examples lah. but it's so sweet right? (:

and so! today i went out with mervin, kevin, and james came really late. haha, mervin got me to join them breaking at esplanade. i didn't do much there lah. they were practicing their stunts then i was using kevin's laptop to .. CAMWHORE! hahahaha. his mac laptop has this built-in camera so i started playing with it! so fun please! :D but pictures only up next entry! because firstly, it's late already and i have school @ 0900 tomorrow. secondly, kevin is not online to send me the pictures. haha.

and then the both of them were sooo sweet! sent me home. :D

okay, abit mind blank now. so nevermind. shall go to bed. nights people! :D <3

2007-10-25T14:47:00.000+08:00

"she's trying to be okay with you."
makes me wonder .. is it really so hard to like me? am i really that difficult to get along with? am i really that unlikeable? makes me hate myself sometimes, even though i may seem like i don't care about it .. but i feel that it affects me alot, especially emotionally.

nevermind ..

so, i have told myself that i should care less about what other people's perspectives of me are. but .. it just doesn't seem to work. maybe it's me just being overly self-conscious. but yah .. i've lived my life always trying to make people like me. i'm serious. to me, i've always tried to compromise with everyone, and to give my best to every friend i meet. but it just seems so .. disappointing. so disappointing to hear that all your efforts have gone to waste at the end of the day, because that person just doesn't like you.

it's so sad isn't it? i mean, you tried so hard but you still ain't liked by the person. and we're not even talking about the boy-girl kind of like, but just a normal "i have a good impression of you" kind of like. it makes you think like your best is other people's worst; like you haven't given your best and you are just not good enough, like you're inferior and everything else ..

personally, i've never believed in rumors. i hear them, i feel shocked after hearing them. but i'm never like prejudiced against that particular person after hearing it. i just feel that it's so .. unfair for that person. i'd rather have some communication with that person before actually 'judging' him. i think it's more fair that way ..

and i just don't understand why someone has to act so .. i'm in a lack of verbs to use. but yah, i don't see the point of trying so hard to act like you like the person when you know yourself so well that you really don't. there's really .. no point. i think even if it's you don't want to hurt the person's feelings, the furthest you should go is to pretend like you're neutral. why pretend to like the person, make yourself feel so horrible because you have to PRETEND, and at the end of the day backstab that person?

let me illustrate a situation:
roles involved: grace and lynette. (the names are purely used for illustration, and the illustration is totally made up.)
grace doesn't like lynette, but lynette doesn't know. so lynette talks to grace like a friend, thinking that grace treats her like a real friend. but grace's friend knows that grace doesn't like lynette. so they spent a day together, etc etc. because grace has been pretending, she'll naturally feel horrible right? (you just suck if you don't feel horrible for lying to someone, really. just shows that you're so immuned to it, it doesn't matter anymore.) so at the end of the day, she goes to her friends and start ranting: omg, that lynette think she what sia. think people all like her, behave until so friendly towards us.

don't you think it's very what the hell? if you don't, then nevermind. cause to me, it's really ultimately what the hell. so i feel that there's no point in faking. (:
(sorry for the really bad illustration. i'm quite bad at such stuff, haha.)

okay, maybe i just don't understand kay. but i believe that we should all treat the people we meet sincerely and truthfully. it's always good to be truthful. honesty pays. (:

so, that's how i really feel. and if you don't think i'm such a person, then maybe you don't know me well enough and should probably stop assuming things about me. i'm not trying to say i'm oh-so-good and everything, but just trying to write down what i feel about such stuff. if you don't believe, it's okay. just don't start rumours about me thinking that i'm very nice, because i don't think i am.

i don't know lah .. i just hate people assuming things about me. i really hate it, especially when they have barely any communication with me, or just a superficial hi-bye. it's nothing, really. get to know the person before you assume kay? i don't think i'm very likeable, and should be liked by everyone, but i've always been giving my best to everyone. .. i don't know how to say it, but yah.

and i'm not fake, i have never been hypocritical. if you heard from others i've said some stuff about you, but i still appear like i like you, then it's not exactly what you heard. it's more like, i don't like this certain behaviour of yours, but i'm still cool with you. seriously. anything, just ask me. i won't flare at you, i promise.

so .. get to know me kay? (: i'll be nice to you, i promise. -smiles.

i'll end off my post with special thanks to many of my friends who've heard before stuff about me, but yet still chose to believe in my character. really, that means a hell lot to me. (:

<3

2007-10-25T02:34:00.000+08:00

on tuesday, i did couple work with badd, in replacement of audrey. and i'm not trying to be whiny, but he said that i am FAT. omg! x( haha, actually i am trying to be whiny. so nevermind. i don't really mind anyway. i feel that i'm fat so it doesn't matter afterall. (:

anyway, thanks mervin and junwei for being so concerned about me, generally the girls' actually, well-being. :D for those sms-es of concern. xiexieeeeee! :D

mervin's been so sweet to me these days. and people says we look like siblings! haha, will post a picture of us when we take one. (:

today was supposed to be a few people day, ended up having a 5 people outing. haha. but it was fun! i enjoyed myself. (:

melissa, james, kevin and me went to this japanese outlet to eat @ tampines sports complex. then mervin came later on. haha, we had so much crap i tell you. so fun! :D

james: whose hair is the nicest here ah?
kevin: *straight away makes adjustments to hair*
james: confirm not kevin's.

hahahahaa. okay, i'm a really bad illustrator. but at that moment, i tell you, mel and me burst out laughing. i almost showered coke float all over the place. hahahahaha.

and i tell you! i'm like the marry-able person to mervin. hahahahaha. which is so .. out of nowhere; random-ness. hahaha.

and and! kevin is like my BFMF. hahahahahaha! okay, it's an inside thing okay. no leaking out. xD haha, but i think it's so funny! lol!

after eating, we just went somewhere to slack. we erm .. bitched? but but! like serene said on her blog, "i'm a nice bitch." hahaha, so am i! hmm, though i don't really understand how people define bitching/gossiping. but yah, whatever it is, we talked about others. nothing harmful or untruthful in my opinion, but more like facts and .. our perspectives. yup. (:

anyway, i heard some stuff today. some shocking, some weird. haha.

hmm, i'm quite shocked that this particular someone is not what i have expected him/her to be. just a bit shocked that's all. :D

weird stuff would be ..
hmm, have you ever heard of people who actually don't believe what they see for themselves but rather what they hear from others? it gets to me luh, and i don't think i'll ever understand why they can feel that way.

i've never felt that way. i've always believed in what i see for myself, and i've always chosen to look at the positive side of everyone. okay, i try my best to look at it that way. but .. you know, sometimes for some people, it just can't be helped.

ohwells, i have to learn that i can't please everyone. yup, *tries to process it*
actually i have alot to say on this issue .. but yah, not today. i'm abit too tired. yepp.

but before that, i just wanna thank you. (:

And to Lyn, i know something's bothering you though you say you're alright. I know something's wrong and maybe i'm not the person you wanna tell and rant at. But if ever you need anyone to rant or just a shoulder to cry on, i'm here for you alright? I just want you to know that you're not alone no matter what ok? I really want you to cheer up. =)

yup, you. thanks. (: -hugs.

lastly, junhui. is it so weird for my name not to appear on your blog? hahaha, nonsense lah you. and why i'm replying here is because your tagboard ain't loading for me. haha.

i am free tomorrow! anyone wants to date me?!
(meaning thursday)

2007-10-24T00:48:00.001+08:00

i'm super addicted to that song! :D i think both the melody and the lyrics are so beautiful in its own way. sometimes it gives me the feeling of 'wow'. hope you guys will like it like i do. :D although some of my friend's english is like .. *coughs* haha, you know who you are. =p but really, i like the melody. (: thanks to andy for introducing this song to me!

today i didn't go school. :( i was really damn tired .. i woke up then i really blanked out and went back to bed. even as i'm blogging now, i feel my eyes fighting to shut. so yah, i missed both my business statistics lecture and macroeconomics lecture. x( thanks to junhui for taking notes for me. (:

so i went to cut my hair. :D been wanting to cut my hair. and i did today! not too bad, quite satisfied with it. butttt! everyone says it doesn't look like i cut it. :( heh, lucky still got a few who says it looks like i did cut it. ^^

joycelyn and me. :D

okay, don't tell me no difference kay! you can see my eyes now even though my fringe is messy. which means! that my fringe is shorter now. :DD hehe.

keiths got me a present from hongkong! (:

hahaha. he says it reminds me of him because of the sucking of thumb. so mean right! but i'm so glad he remembered about me back there! (: so sweett! ((:

hmm, tomorrow sociology tutorial for lynette @ 0900. x( so earlyy. -whines. but after that meeting mervin for lunch. :D then i'll be going for my movie date at 1pm!

boooo. i want a new pair of shoes! :(

i don't think i'll ever get an answer.
you seem so busy, too busy for me.

2007-10-23T01:49:00.000+08:00

a rather .. ______ day for me. and because of my limited vocabulary, i am unable to find a suitable word to describe today. so just fill in the blanks if you want yah? it's been such a day filled with joy .. and tears.

i was late in meeting grace. i'm really sorry. :( and i'm glad you weren't upset with me. (: thankyouu. -smiles.

after which met junhui and keith for lunch. eden and jashawn were there as well. (: actually, i really feel that i have pretty good classmates. how fortunate of me. (:

organisational behaviour lecture .. is like as boring as princples of management lecture. =.=" i doubt i was paying any close attention, especially with a really screwed up sound system. x_x my heart almost burst i tell you. no choice, i listened to my music. (:

after which, met mark, claudine, bee siang and mervin to go for tprawks and otc interview. (: i think it went quite well; edwin interviewed mark, claudine, bee siang and myself. haha, and because we were his freshies, so he knows us quite well. i hope everything goes well. :D

after that i went for sociology lecture, in the same lecture theatre. =.= grace almost wanted to leave. hahaha, but i'm like so guai. xD but i tell you, sociology is like O_O, boring to the max.

thanks, grace, for being there when i needed someone. (: although you sounded very distracted and everything.. haha. but i appreciate it. (:

hmm, i like rahim alot on a random note. i feel that he cares for people, but in a very indirect and subtle way. which makes me think he's such a sweet guy. (:

stayed till pretty late then joycelyn wanted to eat dinner. so i accompanied her. (: we went to macs @ bedok interchange and we talked quite abit. she's damn sweet. (:
then wanted to go off already. joycelyn wanted to send me home. but it was starting to rain, and it seems to be getting heavier. so i asked her to go home first. and then i was right on, it rained damn big after that. so big that i couldn't stay in the rain anymore and had to grab a cab. so stupid. the meter was still $2.50 when it got to my place. haha, excluding the midnight charges lah.. then the uncle only charged me $3. (: nice people like them makes me smile. (:

so i'm basically now all wet, typing this. i don't think i'm gonna bathe .. at most tomorrow fall sick. ^^ and i've got lesson @ 9am. x( sighs. i end school at 1pm! but i got dance at 6pm! still wondering how .. hmmm ..

next on will be some of the many things i've been feeling and thinking about today. if you think it's referring to you, then maybe it is. (:

i searched for a chance, a hope. to forgive you and to convince myself of the love you claim. yet i search in vain. hopes held so high, yet fell so bad. i feel so shattered, i'm lost without directions. i yearn to believe in all you've said, but teach me how now cause it seems to become more difficult each time i try. explain to me what actually happen, because i can't find any reasons to convince myself no matter how hard i tried. i tried so hard i cried.

friends who don't say hi when they come, and don't say bye when they go. what kind of friends are they considered as? i don't know. it's nothing big, and maybe i'm just kicking up a fuss. but .. i don't know. can you tell me why it feels so awkward now?

boo. i don't feel like saying anymore.. yup. got a few other random stuff, will be posted soon i hope. take cares people. <3

but the first thing you did was to blame me ..

2007-10-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

i went out with james and kevin today!

i like going out with them. they always make me feel so comfortable in their presence. it's like i can be whoever i want and they'll just accept me for who i am. they wouldn't think i'm being hypocritical, fake or just acting to be someone i'm not. they won't. it's almost like they'll believe in me no matter what others say. which is like .. sooooooooo lucky of me! :D cause it's like i just got to know them, and they're already such great people.

to both of you! i really super duper love you two and appreciate you two okay! even though i always beat you two. =x but yah! like they say, da shi teng, ma shi ai. so i super teng you two! :D

other stuff another day. it's late and tomorrow/later is the first day of school, again! :D -excited. heh. i shall go do some blog-reading and play a little neopets. =x yuppp.

happy first day @ school to you guysssssss! :D

2007-10-21T17:37:00.000+08:00

a new beginning, hoping that things will go right this time.
start from scratch, we will.
and we'll see where it leads us to. (:

today, i felt liberated. but it's not like i've been in bondage, .. i don't know how to explain, but it really feels alot better. (:

and this will mean, alot lesser sad nights for lynette, i hope. (:

special thanks to james who stayed with me on the phone, grace for her opinion, andy for being so concerned, grace (classmate) who asked if i'm alright (really surprised me) and all those of you who cared and got worried. (: <3

2007-10-21T01:48:00.000+08:00

i lost two very important people in my life today.
all in the span of that few hours.

2007-10-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

dance class @ 0900. i woke up at 825. thinking i was late, i ran into the bathroom and bathed for like 10 minutes? =.= quickly packed my bag and left house. ran towards the bus stop and grabbed the first taxi i saw. got off the cab and ran to the studio. glad that i was early.

in the end? gin never come. =.= ..

what a waste of energy. lol.

i need alot of people to hear me rant. i feel like i have so many things to share, but no one to share to.

#)@)*#_!&_^(#

rubbish!

to you, the person i claim to be my best friend.
i don't understand whatever there is anymore. you haven't had time for me, and vice versa. we're both so busy with our individual commitments. and so much so that, i feel that we've drifted so apart. i used to feel so comfortable in your presence, like i can share anything with you. but really, not anymore. and it's not because of what happened tonight.
this whole incident? to me, it wasn't just you accusing my good friend of something i believe he'll never do, but also you raising your voice at me. i was pretty much to hear that from you. maybe it was not raising your voice, we were both just agitated. but .. you know that was the first time you ever talked like that to me? and it was because of two girls and a guy? so sad..

and i thought our bond would never ever break.

but it's like, you don't even bother about my life anymore. i was already .. quite affected. today was the last straw. sigh ..

and i wonder will you even get to read this..

heh. thanks to james for accompanying me for the whole of today! even though he was sooo tired already. really appreciate it! (:

went to huijing's house with james, may and amelia. her mum is nice. (: her brother is friendly, and i think he speaks well. (: her brother's friend is cute. hahaa.

met some of james' friends; weisheng, kenny and brandon. hahaha. soo cute! they kept me so entertained throughout the whole period. hahaha.

kenny: eh, rat and mouse got difference de. rat has a pointed nose, but mouse has a round nose.
weisheng: aiya, same lah. all in the same category.
kenny: you got hear before mickey rat?

LOL. seriously lol. i like laughed non-stop when i was with them.

and .. WHAT THE HELL I TELL YOU. I WAS TYPING THIS HALFWAY AND I SAW A DRAGONFLY. WAH, DAMN SCARY. HENG I SIAM FAST! I GOT SO SCARED I TURNED OFF THE POWER OF THE COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY, TOOK MY LAPTOP FROM MY BROTHER AND DECIDE TO HIDE IN MY ROOM. OMGOMG.
but mummie was irritated at me for being so scared. i mean, she also scared what. and must understand .. for me, it's not the normal fear. but i really freaking scared of insects. .. :((

okay, so that like totally spoilt my feel of blogging. haha. so i shall blog another day!

miss me! :D

could you explain to me what is it that we share?

2007-10-20T03:00:00.000+08:00

i've been trying so hard,

giving my best.

yet it just doesn't seem to work.

one way or another,

it still happens.

is this what we're meant to be?

2007-10-19T20:27:00.000+08:00

hehe. something random! i found it on nazmi's blog, and thought it was quite interesting. :DD

girly
[ ] i love at least one shade of pink.
[ ] i don't like being messy.
[ ] my belongings are organized.
[x] i don't like rock music.
[x] i like wearing accessories.
[ ] bright colours amaze me.
[ ] i hate black.
[ ] i go to the saloon once a week.
[ ] i comb my hair almost all the time.
[x] i bring my phone with me everywhere.

add up the number of 'Xs' and multiply it by 10.

boyish
[x] i wear baggy pants.
[ ] i play video games.
[ ] i listen to boybands like my chemical romance, yellowcard, switchfoot, etc.
[x] i like wearing jackets with hoods.
[x] i'm too lazy to do chores.
[ ] i don't like shopping.
[ ] i like to go bungee jumping.
[ ] i like being sweaty.
[ ] i'm a big fan of marvel heroes.
[ ] i barely wear perfume.

add up the number of 'Xs' and multiply it by 10.

nerdy
[ ] i always carry a pen in my purseor pocket.
[ ] i enjoy studying.
[ ] i wear glasses.
[ ] i'm a straight-A student.
[ ] i've never skipped any class in my whole life.
[ ] i like my shirt tucked in.
[ ] my favourite subject is science.
[ ] i enjoy reading books.
[ ] my assignments are passed up on time.
[x] i correct people with their grammer.

add up the number of 'Xs' and multiply it by 10.

emo
[x] i love the colour black.
[ ] i always sit at the corner.
[x] one side of my hair is covering one of my eyes.
[ ] i like listening to metal rock music.
[ ] i have a lot of problems in my life.
[ ] i'm not much of a loud person.
[ ] i don't talk much.
[ ] i don't have that much friends.
[ ] i barely have fun.
[ ] i barely go out with my folks or friends.

add up the number of 'Xs' and multiply it by 10.

childish
[ ] i am open to my parents.
[x] i sleep with a stuff toy.
[x] i watch cartoons.
[x] i don't like watching horror movies.
[x] i sleep with a night light.
[ ] my parents are the ones who choose my outfit.
[x] i'm scared of roller coasters.
[ ] i like being with my family relatives.
[ ] i take bubble baths.
[ ] i've ran around the house in my underwear.

add up the number of 'Xs' and multiply it by 10.

and therefore .. i am:

30% girly, 30% boyish, 10% nerdy, 20% emo and 50% childish.

hahahaa. i don't think that's childish! i think it's just kiddish. :D but so cool huh. though i don't think it's that accurate, but i think it's fun to just give it a try. ^^

hehe. thanks meimei and andy for sayang-ing me! hahahaha. what a spoilt brat, quoted from andy. but who cares, i like being pampered! which girl doesn't? :D

today had dance.

how should i put it? seems like .. i really suck at dancing. =/ i don't know how else to put it but that. yeah, quite disappointed with myself.

i just hate being neither here or there.

but special thanks to rahim, for always giving me advices whenever i ask. (: thanks for being so patient with us, really appreciate it.

and also, sorry to jean and unice. i don't think i should say it out here, but yah .. sorry for everything. cheer up aight. <3

ps. junhui, we'll have fun when school starts! xD

it's just taking a toll on me.

2007-10-18T22:52:00.001+08:00

hey guys. :D

firstly, i wanna apologise for the slow replies on tags. cause .. for some reason my internet explorer .. has some problems. and it really sucks. you know for me to blog each time, i have to close and open my like a few times. cause it just doesn't load any pages after i visit .. like 3/4 sites? so for example:
1st site: http://blogger.com/
2nd site: the dashboard, after i login to my account.
3rd site: i click "new post".
then normally after i type my entry, then something will happen. =.=
makes me damn irritated and not want to use my ie. and it so happens that it doesn't load my haloscan each time. =.= ..

so main point of this whole thing? sorry for delayed responses! :D

secondly, i wanna say sorry for the double entry? haha. yeah, i tried publishing the entry. but everytime i reach my "edit posts", my whole ie hangs. =.= so like, yah. sorry. :(

okays. next to how my day was today. :D

so .. the supposed ice skating trip was cancelled. and i don't really feel like blogging out the reasons and stuff. i'm just damn .. upset about this whole incident.

to you: you are not a jerk. just that you were being a really irresponsible friend who cancelled on us so last minute, and without you contacting us first, but the other way round. it was damn disappointing for that to have came from you.

so i went for dance instead! yup, and i'm pretty glad i didn't miss it. we had pretty much fun! :D we cleaned our steps initially. then raazmy taught us the choreography for the girl's hiphop. sooo fun i tell you! :D we just did it again and again. tough to do, but fun! :D

then after that we had our finale practice. hahaa, the song is nice! get loose by nelly! (: then we had to go! cause the cheerleaders booked the studio. >=[ yahhhh. then we left to eat. :D

they decided to go some place @ serangoon to eat! their food there quite nice. :D butttt! so far. x_x hahaha. i sat on one table with genevieve, junwei and weiqiang. and i thought we ordered quite alot le. gen ate hokkien mee, junwei and weiqiang ate wan tan mee and i ate prawn noodes. plus stingray, 4 chicken wings and 10 satays. before i finished my prawn mee, i was already like full. x_x

but you know what the other table ordered? jean, unice, raazmy and nelson i mean. like omg. they ordered damn alot. let's see .. 8 chicken wings, 20 satays, claypot chicken porridge, this damn big plate of carrot cake, rojak and i think a few more that i cannot remember. hahaha, we were saying they sure cannot finish but raazmy insisted they could. haha. in the end, they never really finished everything luh. haha.

then we ordered .. desserts! like the highlight for dinner. :D so cute i tell you. the beancurds had different flavours! the mango one tasted like mango pudding, the chocolate one was not bad! the strawberry one .. not my kind. but i think strawberry flavour lovers will love it. (: i ate nata de coco, which was their normal one with nata de co co. their normal one abit .. too egg-y. but not bad also. :D so interestingggg! $2 per bowl. hahaa.

after which i cabbed home with gen. (: yup.

was a fun day luh. heh. :D thanks to everyone for making my day! -smiles.

while i was bathing .. i thought of some stuff. hmm, and i realised i have two groups of good friends.
1. the kind that knows me well, and vice versa. (:
2. the kind that i know well, but don't know me well.

hmm, i don't know why and i'm not trying to imply anything. just a random thought. ohwells. :D

martin is sooo nice! he really bought me something from hongkong. :D so sweet! he actually remembered! :DD

nice hor? :D thanks martin, really! i damn appreciate it. ((:

heh. i got my timetable already. not bad! i don't mind if it's packed as long as i don't get stupid long breaks in the middle of nowhere. hahaha.

there. :D credits to grace! she made that for me. ^^

on a random note, i wanna buy new shoes. :( my shoes looks so dirty le! x(

and junhui! i'm damn nice. that time i ate at bizpark, i told myself cannot black pepper steak. cause must eat with you! heh! :D

3 more days before school starts! i ought to spend my days fulfillingly. :D
dance for lynette on friday, which is tomorrow, and saturday! sunday still planless.

okay lah, i'm tired. hiphop training @ 10 for us tomorrow. after that we have finale practice. x_x .. heh. take cares all! <3

ps. my hand hurts like crap ever since the chalet. i cannot carry stuff .. x_x

2007-10-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

one of my favourite songs. i love the lyrics. :D

遥望着你背影
有孤单太苍白
我多么想陪着你
走过人山人海
当天空变灰白
你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你
紧锁的心海

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都
好好收藏着
我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界
渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热

我鼓起勇气呐喊
你要听得见
我不许你再孤单
要你拥抱我给的温暖

and so i went for dance chalet. very fun! :D alot of crap stuff here and there. hahas. i enjoyed myself overall. ^^

special thanks keiths, alodie and kevin for being so concerned over me when i just kept cooking and didn't eat. :D especially keiths! heh. thankyouu. so sweet of you! :D
and also thanks to the rest of you for appreciating me cooking for you all. :D that's all i need. heh. ^^

thanks james for spending the night chatting with me and forsaking your sleep. heh. thanks alot! for your advices and everything. super appreciate it! :D

thanks han lin and joseph for playing games with me and kena-ing bullied by me. hahahaha. thanks for tolerating my 'high-ness' and nonsense. xD

heh. lastly, thanks to royston for those donuts from hongkong! very sweet of you, and it tasted great! :D

i saw nick tan on the bus today. hahahaha. he's damn cute! i miss him sia! i always feel so entertained around him. heh. i don't care. i'm like gonna talk to him on my msn so often, he doesn't want to bother about me anymore. hahahaha. :D

2007-10-15T18:55:00.000+08:00

as i've already mentioned, i was supposed to go to junhui's workplace to get a job? yeah, i went. filled in the application form. and there was this really stupid part! haha.

see? they just random put "colour". =.= lol, what the hell please. i thought they were asking for the colour of my skin. =.= ..

then i decided not to work there. =x cause they have to wear black shoes! and black pants! omg, what the hell. black shoes = leather shoes. no way. =.= ..

then junhui suggested cafe cartel. and so the very sweet junhui accompanied me to the cafe cartel @ tampines. :D i think the possibility of me getting the job is very high, but i .. don't think i can commit.

i told the person i can work up to half a year to one year? and up to 5 times a week. which is, now, damn impossible.

it just suddenly hit me that i have so many things going on.

tprawks. november 14-16th. which means massive trainings when school starts as well?

dance training for concert will start on the 2nd saturday after school starts. and then going on .. after mid semester tests, which is about mid december, we'll start intensive training for concert. which i interpreted as, having trainings almost everyday. which is .. how to work?! dance concert is on 14, 15th march. all the way .. how to. x_x

then the second thing i'm worrying about.
dance camp is on the 18, 19th december.
and i have orientation training camp on the 17, 18, 19th december.
which should i choose?

jean said that if don't go for the camp, will perform less. yeah .. i don't know. i wanna go for both, but that doesn't seem very possible.

i don't know. which should i choose?
don't tell me follow my heart or whatever. i really don't know.

crap. i shouldn't have committed myself in so many things. :(

and what should i say when the person calls? ahh, i feel so irresponsible.
..

but on a happy note, i had a great time with junhui. haha, though it was only like, 2 hours? heh. she said i grew TALLER! like, omg yay! but she's so gei gao. 70cents also wanna be petty! hahahaha. =p

we'll eat black pepper steak once school starts! :D heh.

remember! KARMA KARMA KARMA! hahahahaahaha. :D <33

EDITED

oh yah, i forgot to mention. the place that junhui is working at now has this extremely stupid policy: if you work at this outlet, you cannot eat at this outlet.

like what the hell? lol. can anyone explain to me the rationale behind that? because from whichever angle i see from, i cannot find any sense behind that policy.

2007-10-14T13:11:00.000+08:00

heh, i think i going kbox buffet later. :D so funnnnn! hoorays! ^^

anyways, this upcoming week! quite busy. x( but i think .. should be quite fun bah. :DD

monday - go junhui's workplace and look for job.
tuesday - hiphop training. dance chalet.
wednesday - dance chalet.
thursday - ice skating with jon&gab.
friday - no plans for the time being. :D
saturday - teach philip's friend econs.
sunday - no plans, but last day of holidays. x(

anyone wanna date me on my two free days? :D

i miss jack. x( so long never talk to him le. he's always busy. no time for lynette le. :( boooo.

heh. happy lyn! (:

EDITED

walao, junhui, your tagboard sucks. everytime i wanna tag, it's not working. =.=

you know you wrote go biking with eden and wenjie right? i read as, go bikini-ing. i was totally like what the! hahahaha.
heh. i miss you too! :D but it's okayy. we'll see each other tomorrow! ^^

and i'm really damn freaking dumb. i hit my finger. not against anything, but myself. like, i try to put it below my thighs when i sit and stuff? then i hit this. and this was the consequence:

i purposely showed the other finger for you guys to make the comparison. rawr, damn pain i tell you. and i feel so .. huo gai. x_x :( painnnnnnn.